HOUSTON, TX – Local physician Dr. Sharma plans to hand out “Fun-Size” packages of metformin this Halloween.
“Pretty much every child develops diabetes on November 1st after a successful trick-or-treating. I’ll being doing their hearts and kidneys a big favor,” Dr. Sharma told reporters, as he described his plans for all the trick-or-treaters this Halloween.
Some concerned parents say that “handing out prescription drugs” without prescriptions on Halloween could be problematic.
“Hey we all know the parents steal half of their children’s candy, they can have some the metformin too!” Dr. Sharma said. “Their pancreases will thank me.”
Dr. Sharma justifies his rouge approach by reminding us, “Dentists always ruin Halloween by giving out toothbrushes and floss. Great, children will have no cavities but get diabetes. Almost all their teeth are baby teeth and will be replaced but they only get one pancreas!”
Experts predict this Halloween could be one of the worst on record for diabetes, since the infamous Sugar Rush of 2002. At least someone is standing up for health. Big Insulin is not happy with this move, will update as story develops…