ST. LOUIS, MO – Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University.  “I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours ago,” hospitalist Dr. Shaw told reporters.  “Something just spoke to me that he needed fluids.  I ordered a CBC, CMP, antiphospholipid antibody, and D-dimer just to see what his fluid level status was…”  Nursing also reported dry mucous membranes and extremely sunken fontanels.

The nurse and phlebotomist could not find any vein to draw blood.  That’s when the hospitalist knew he needed fluids.  “Yeah, pretty obvious, he was BONE DRY!”

To top it off, this patient had NO urine output over the past 13 years!!!  Upon hearing this nephrology was consulted.  “We may need to initiate dialysis STAT, wish we could get some labs,” Dr. Shaw stated.  “I better order a rheumatoid factor to see why we can’t draw blood for labs.”

After leaving the bedside Dr. Shaw was paged that the patient had dry eye, so ophthalmology was brought on board.



  • Lord Lockwell

    Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.

  • Show Comments