WASHINGTON, D.C. – The fight against sexual harassment in the work place has recently been taken into unchartered territory. Due to the continued improvement in technology and artificial intelligence, hospital personnel across the board have been faced with ethical dilemmas and unforeseen complications. The conquest to decrease invasiveness of surgical procedures has made it necessary for surgical personnel to rely more heavily on robotic machines such as the da Vinci.
Recently during a routine lap chole, the da Vinci robot in use was seen making suggestive gestures and obscene vocalizations to the female surgical tech in attendance. At first it was dismissed as a mechanical occurrence consistent with proper functioning of the robot, but after the third lap chole of the day a pattern was noticed in which the robot would produce certain noises only when the said surgical tech was present.
The female surgical tech (who wishes to remain anonymous at this time) accused the robot of utterances such as repeating grunting noises and moaning noises directed at her. The da Vinci robot that was used at the time was independently moving arm number 4 in a perceived effort to stroke the techs buttocks and arm number 3 to grab her.
When taken into questioning, the robot refused comment. The robot and its legal team are said to be preparing a statement for the grand jury, the premise of the case is that the robot only does what it is programmed to due and therefore it cannot be held accountable for its actions.
Witness to the harassment, general surgeon Dr. Grabbums was heard comforting the distraught victim. “Don’t worry sugar, I’ll keep you safe. Just meet me alone in my office and we’ll figure out a plan.” He has been hailed as a hero.