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A national shortage of personal protective equipment or PPE is forcing nurses to get creative.

“I’m so happy to live in a country where supplies to make my own PPE are readily available!” nurse Shannon told her admin Thursday. “It was so easy. I went to Wal-Mart and bought myself a sewing machine. Then I ordered allergy-filter vacuum bags from Amazon Prime, cut them up, and sewed them to fabric I bought from Hobby Lobby. Grabbed some elastic bands and I had myself some PPE!”

She went on to say excitedly, “I can’t imagine another country where I could make my own mask, and get all the materials in 1 day. What a great country!” Shannon was so excited that anything she needed to make her own masks, besides the mask itself, is readily available.

Administration is also chipping in on the project. “We plan to let all nurses off after a 12-hour shift 5 minutes early so that can go home and sew,” Dan Eckbauch told reporters from his home far away from the dangers of the hospital.

“Until nurses can make their own PPE we still expect them to come to work with bandannas or scarves.”

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Lord Lockwell
Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.