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A major pharmaceutical company has launched a device to fight against the COVID-19 pandemic. The state-of-the-art implantable throat filter was unveiled at a product launch here today. Dr. T.R. Akea, the CEO, gave a live demonstration of the device at the event.

The filter automatically finds its way into the trachea after it is swallowed. It comes with a blinking LED light that can be seen through the neck. Quite similar to household RO water purifier systems, there is an auto-shutoff feature that stops shuts the airways once the service period of the filter has been exhausted. This triggers a vocal alarm which makes the user say “I can’t breathe”.

The filter gets auto-sterilized daily by the regurgitation of stomach acid into the wind-pipe. Users can also gargle bleach to clean the filter. Smokers who fear that the tar in cigarettes will render this filter useless can bypass the filter through a port in the neck. They can smoke the cigarette through the port and continue to enjoy carcinogens and state-of-the-art protection against the Coronavirus. A medicated drug-eluting filter is also under development.

Meanwhile few scientists have pointed a major design flaw. “The tall claims and filters that are being marketed are hard to swallow. This device can be a real pain in the neck if it malfunctions.”

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