Breaking: Anesthesia Absolutely Spent Adjusting Table Height
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - McGill University anesthesiologist, 42-year-old Eric Drouin, admits that he is absolutely spent after adjusting the table height this morning per the surgeon's request, and plans to take the rest of the...
Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial
Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a disturbing new trend.
This reporter caught up with her after she...
Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame
For the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, and surgery accepted blame.
“We took this guy back for a hernia repair, and the surgeon was just poking around with...
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Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche
DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after an avalanche of neatly-pressed drapes tumbled on top of her...
Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal
NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary to presumed sudoku withdrawal.
"Dr. Kingston is intubated but thankfully responsive...
Dermatology Recommends Arctic Winter to Minimize Sun Exposure
ROSEMONT, IL - Continuing its campaign against arch nemesis, the Sun, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) has issued a new recommendation stating not only Americans but all citizens of Earth to immerse themselves...
Breaking: ASA Blackballs Anesthesiologist Who Dislikes Sudoku
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Not sugarcoating it and calling it the equivalent of medical treason, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey Plagenhoef has officially blackballed anesthesiologist Dr. Olivia Eagles from the ASA...
New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...
On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age 45 rather than 50 years will be eligible for a...
Anesthesiologist Protests ‘Talking To Patients Is Not In My Job Description’
LOS ANGELES, CA- Dr. Jacob Coates, who is a practicing neuro-anesthesiologist for last 18 years, is protesting against awake craniotomies.
"This is beyond my comfort level,” he explained. “I don’t know what to talk about...
