Anesthesiology

Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators

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GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin...

Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues

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ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy.  He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?”  Dr. Heathstrom looked up from...

Anesthesiologists Now Offering Tap from a Ball-Peen Hammer as Natural Option for Sedation

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Under pressure from the Natural Medicine movement, the American Society of Anesthesiologists have discovered a "natural" and "drug-free" approach toward preparing a patient for...
sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia

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HOUSTON, TX - The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to complete the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, winning 34-28...
Hospicillin

FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
malpractice attorney

Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths

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MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian.  He...
Jerome Adams Surgeon General Surgeon Colonel

Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....