Anesthesiology

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Trump Pardons Anesthesia

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stating that he wanted to "give this pardon thing a test run... for no particular reason," President of the United States...

Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...

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HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five.  "I’m just happy...

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

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RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...

Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms

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DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000.  This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...

Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery

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VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...