anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist, Tired of Inaccurate Surgical Time Estimates, Tells Surgeon How Much Anesthesia Time is...

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BUTTE, MT - In a strange twist of fate, Dr. Amanda Sevoflurane, a practicing Anesthesiologist at Pilonidal Cyst Memorial Hospital, decided to mix things...

Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out

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SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack

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BOWLING GREEN, KY - In yet another case of everything being blamed on Anesthesia, reports are now circulating that even the attack on Rand...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Patients on Floor

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HOUSTON, TX - Finding it to be a particularly slow day in the operating room today, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been spotted running around Houston Medical Center,...
anesthesiologist hospital

Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions

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SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
colonoscopy

New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...

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On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age...

Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....

Pathetic Anesthesiologist Can’t Even Put Own Kids to Sleep

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In an embarrassing display of parenting incompetence, 38-year-old anesthesiologist Eric Springer was unable to put his own kids to bed late Thursday night.  That's...
CPR

CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler

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Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing.  This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...