Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction
TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...
Breaking: Anesthesia Celebrating That Ambien Can Be Blamed for Everything Now
BREAKING - Anesthesiologists and CRNAs across the globe are celebrating today as the baton of blame has been passed onto Ambien for absolutely anything...
New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm
Dear Hospital Employees,
The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital. This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land. We...
Breaking: Robert Mueller Indicts Anesthesia
GOMERBLOG HQ - The first charges arising from special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation has been approved by a federal grand jury in Washington, D.C.,...
Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months. Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
Anesthesiologist General Won’t Stop Asking President How Much Time He Has Left
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is growing impatient with the new Anesthesiologist General continually asking him how much time is left in his presidency.
Surgeon/Anesthesiologist General...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Anesthesia Goes on the Offensive & Blames Everybody Else
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Throwing away the old blueprint of simply accepting the blame, Anesthesia has opened up a brand new playbook and is going...