Anesthesiology

Trump Tweets About Several Medical Specialties

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Trump is at it again.  This time it involves tweets regarding several medical specialties. Enjoy! ...

Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
Smug Anesthesiologist blames everybody

Anesthesiologist Correctly Identifies Anatomic Structure During Surgery

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SPRINGVILLE, VA – Local part-time anesthesiologist and full-time crossword puzzle enthusiast Arnold Preston, M.D. shocked the entire operating suite today when he correctly identified...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...
CPR

CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler

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Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing.  This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Big Bad Wolf

Wolf Huffs and He Puffs and He Blows Anesthesia’s Drapes Down

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LONDON, ENGLAND - A confrontation has broken out between the Big Bad Wolf and anesthesiologist James Halliwell in OR 5 of London Bridge Medical...

ASA Updates Algorithm to Account for Redheads

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) released new guidelines that update their infamous ASA classification system to account for the anesthetic...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...