Monday, February 8, 2021

Anesthesiology

orthopedic surgery

Breaking News: Orthopedic Surgeon Completes 1000th Surgery with EBL of 50 cc

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NEW YORK, NY - GomerBlog is ecstatic to bring you breaking news out of OR 7 today at University Medical Center.  Dr. Stewart Shoemyer, a prominent orthopedic surgeon who specializes in total joints, completed...
dermabond surgical glue

Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product

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Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices.  In response, Ethicon has repackaged and launched a new marketing campaign to...

OR Shutdown Enters Third Week as Drape Wall Dispute Remains Deadlocked

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KEARNEY, NE - An operating room at Kind Samaritan Hospital (KSH) has entered a third week of shutdown as Anesthesia and Surgery continued to spar over their demands for the surgical drape wall. Both...

Trump Tweets About Several Medical Specialties

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Trump is at it again.  This time it involves tweets regarding several medical specialties. Enjoy!
Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan

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MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of King Stefan and Queen Leah - was given 0.4 mg...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land" as winner of Best Picture.  But during the "La La...
new medical app

Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time

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HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration. “How many times at your facility have you ask your surgeon for a time...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got to get their act together over there as this is the...

Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms

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DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000.  This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation monitors in that it will always alarm. “We try to stand...
acgme

Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction

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TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating room 7.  The incident began when the orthopedic surgeon on...