Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages
MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room. The latest unobtainable...
Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of...
Trump Pardons Anesthesia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stating that he wanted to "give this pardon thing a test run... for no particular reason," President of the United States...
Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy
OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...
Tips: How to Perform a Spinal Tap on a Moving Train
I have to admit: spinal taps (lumbar punctures) are not one of my favorite procedures to perform. I’m fairly certain our patients don’t enjoy...
Breaking News: Surgery Accepts Blame
For the first time in recorded history, anesthesia blamed surgery for a poor case, and surgery accepted blame.
“We took this guy back for a...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich
CLEVELAND, OH - After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of...