A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...
1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really...
Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land"...
ASA Updates Algorithm to Account for Redheads
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) released new guidelines that update their infamous ASA classification system to account for the anesthetic...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
Curare Darts Phased Out Despite Drug Shortages
MACON, GA - Like many medical centers, St. Joseph the Protector Hospital is experiencing severe drug shortages, especially in the operating room. The latest unobtainable...
Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead
MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight. After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out
SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...
Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum
ATLANTA, GA - “Well, this is very embarrassing,” explained pulmonary & critical care fellow Eric Jennings to his colleagues on morning rounds, as he...
Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal
NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary...