Anesthesiology

anesthesiologist table height

Breaking: Anesthesia Absolutely Spent Adjusting Table Height

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MONTREAL, QUEBEC - McGill University anesthesiologist, 42-year-old Eric Drouin, admits that he is absolutely spent after adjusting the table height this morning per the...
traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound...
sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...
anesthesia

Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

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BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike." "We were prepping...

Anesthesiologist in Flap Room Refutes Reports of Peegasms, Calls for Multicenter Prospective Trial

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Dr. I. Kaffeinate is prominent Canadian anesthesiologist who is raising doubts about a recently reported article1 in which urologists were warning women of a...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist Protests ‘Talking To Patients Is Not In My Job Description’

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LOS ANGELES, CA- Dr. Jacob Coates, who is a practicing neuro-anesthesiologist for last 18 years, is protesting against awake craniotomies. "This is beyond my comfort...
laughter best medicine Ativan

Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth

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BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine?  Not any more.  According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
anesthesiologist hospital

Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time

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In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.” Despite best...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...