Anesthesiology

santa big

Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass

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NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...

Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime

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HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural."  In the plan she specifically refused all...
Judas blames Anesthesia

Judas Blames Betrayal of Jesus on Anesthesia

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JERUSALEM - Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by...
colonoscopy

New ACS Recommendations for CRC Screening Forces Anesthesia to Bear the Burden of Providing...

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On May 30, 2018, the American Cancer Society announced that it will be updating its colorectal cancer screening guideline such that all adults age...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Patients on Floor

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HOUSTON, TX - Finding it to be a particularly slow day in the operating room today, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been spotted running around Houston Medical Center,...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....

New “Code 7/19” Intubation Protocol Keeps Day Nurse Around to Finish Sstorm He Started

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The time is 1859 and pagers throughout the ICU begin to chirp. It’s time: Tube O’clock. This simple and easy protocol was designed to...

Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out

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SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...
crossword puzzle shortage

Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...