Anesthesiology

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Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche

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DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after...

New Study Finds CRNAs Just as Good at Taking Breaks as Anesthesiologists

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BOSTON, MA – A new study published in the Journal of the American Association of Nurse Anesthetists found that CRNA’s are just as proficient...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

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SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear...
drape fort iron drapes

Anesthesia Completes Construction of Epic OR Drape Fort

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ATLANTA, GA - After almost a year in the works, Anesthesia is excited to announce the completion of what is likely the world's most...
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Santa Sporting Trim New Figure After Successful Gastric Bypass

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NORTH POLE, CANADA - Reports are coming in from all over the North Pole that Santa Claus is sporting a svelte new physique this Christmas...
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New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
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Anesthesiologist General Won’t Stop Asking President How Much Time He Has Left

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is growing impatient with the new Anesthesiologist General continually asking him how much time is left in his presidency. Surgeon/Anesthesiologist General...
Surgery

Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury

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ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...