Anesthesiology

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
penguins

New Sub-Zero ORs Trialed: Orthopedic Surgeon Still Asking for Temperature Turned Down

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CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to remove excess body heat that orthopedic surgeons generate, OR manufacturer Slyker has paired with refrigerator maker Frigid-Air...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...

Doula Organization Claims Medical Legitimacy

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Craig Hartford, spokesman for the Doula Association of Southern California (DASC), released a statement last week claiming that doulas had at...
anesthesiologist

Anesthesiologist, Tired of Inaccurate Surgical Time Estimates, Tells Surgeon How Much Anesthesia Time is...

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BUTTE, MT - In a strange twist of fate, Dr. Amanda Sevoflurane, a practicing Anesthesiologist at Pilonidal Cyst Memorial Hospital, decided to mix things...

Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...

3
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room. "All the nurses and operating...
Sudoku

Anesthesiologist Calls for STAT Sudoku Help in OR 3

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PHOENIX, AZ – St. Joe’s Outpatient Surgery Center’s anesthesiologist Dr. James Robinson was twenty-two minutes into performing anesthesia on a 31-year-old ASA 1 for...
IV catheter

Anesthesiologist Ecstatic to Get 2 AM Call to Place IV, and Again at 3...

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MEMPHIS, TN - Dr. Beverly Mascinoni, the on-call anesthesiologist last night, was ecstatic to get a call at 2 AM to place an IV. ...

Breaking: Anesthesia Celebrating That Ambien Can Be Blamed for Everything Now

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BREAKING - Anesthesiologists and CRNAs across the globe are celebrating today as the baton of blame has been passed onto Ambien for absolutely anything...

Jesus Christ Himself Scheduled to Perform Miracle, Patient Furious with being NPO

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Mr. Jacobs’ primary team was thrilled when their hospital operator was finally able to get through to Jesus Christ regarding the miracle they were...