Anesthesiology

wallet aorta

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Hoping He Didn’t Leave Wallet in Guy’s Aorta

0
NEW YORK, NY - As cardiothoracic surgeon Timothy Carter sews his patient's sternum closed after successful repair of an ascending aortic aneurysm, he can't help...
George Washington cherry tree

George Washington: ‘I Cannot Tell a Lie… Anesthesia Cut Down the Cherry Tree’

0
MOUNT VERNON, VA - New historical notes and rough drafts by Mason Locke Weemes, who helped write the first autobiography about George Washington,...
respiratory ventilator attachment

New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen

69
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product.  PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...

Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms

0
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000.  This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines

20
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU.  Thankfully he...
cosmetic

New Cosmetic Anesthesia Services Get Glowing Patient Reviews

0
CALABASAS, CA - Patient satisfaction has skyrocketed at a local California hospital after the decision to implement a Cosmetic Anesthesia program.  Surgical patients can...

Surgery is Delayed Due to Lack of “Time In” After Time Out

0
SAN JOSE, CA - OR 12 experienced a three-hour delay for what was supposed to be a 7 am start on a Tuesday morning...

Pathetic Anesthesiologist Can’t Even Put Own Kids to Sleep

0
In an embarrassing display of parenting incompetence, 38-year-old anesthesiologist Eric Springer was unable to put his own kids to bed late Thursday night.  That's...

Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery

12
VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...

ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary

0
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...