Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have Mexico pay for it has failed, President Donald Trump has...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...
Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....
Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size
PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless. If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size. The ultimate...
Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had announced "La La Land"...