Anesthesiology

food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...
anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’

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CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler.  “Turns out we are getting...
doctors lent

What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?

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General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine.  “Oh, your tummy hurts?  Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?” Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid.  The screams will...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
types of beards

New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm

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Dear Hospital Employees, The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital.  This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land.  We...

With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
penguins

Shirtless Tongan Braves Arctic Tundra of Operating Room

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ANN ARBOR, MI - Olympic Tongan athlete, Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has been spotted standing shirtless and glistening in baby...
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Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have Mexico pay for it has failed, President Donald Trump has...
respiratory therapist equipment

Respiratory Therapist Tom Brady Fired for Underinflating ET Tubes

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BOSTON, MA – Tom Brady, a veteran respiratory therapist at Foxboro Hospital, was fired yesterday as he was caught by an eyewitness underinflating endotracheal (ET)...
Smug Anesthesiologist blames everybody

Anesthesia Goes on the Offensive & Blames Everybody Else

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Throwing away the old blueprint of simply accepting the blame, Anesthesia has opened up a brand new playbook and is going...