Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Judas Blames Betrayal of Jesus on Anesthesia
JERUSALEM - Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by...
Strike! Anesthesia Knocks Out 32 Teeth in Masterful Display of Ineptitude
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Anesthesiology resident Dr. Rex Fumblenuts performed the equivalent of a strike today by knocking out all 32 of his patient's teeth...
Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?
Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States. However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...
Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury
ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the...
Anesthesiologist Ecstatic to Get 2 AM Call to Place IV, and Again at 3...
MEMPHIS, TN - Dr. Beverly Mascinoni, the on-call anesthesiologist last night, was ecstatic to get a call at 2 AM to place an IV. ...
Respiratory Therapist Tom Brady Fired for Underinflating ET Tubes
BOSTON, MA – Tom Brady, a veteran respiratory therapist at Foxboro Hospital, was fired yesterday as he was caught by an eyewitness underinflating endotracheal (ET)...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...