Anesthesia Resident Finishes Reading Entire Internet During Free Flap Surgery
NEW YORK, NY – John Silk, a fourth-year anesthesiology resident at State Medical Hospital in New York, will now have his name immortalized in...
Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time
HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration.
“How many times at...
Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son
NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz. Dr. Roger Messi was...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...
CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing. This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...
Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and...
Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...
HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five. "I’m just happy...
Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal
NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary...