Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil
BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike."
"We were prepping...
Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame.
“Man, before...
Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of...
Doctor Reverse Actually the Discoverer of Reverse-Trendelenburg
MUNICH, GERMANY – Agatha Reverse is a well-known surgeon from Germany around 1870, who removed numerous gallbladders. To help her with surgical exposure she decided to place the...
Anesthesiologist Puts Up Drape, Puppet Show for Surgeons
NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist Thomas Kingston was the hit of the OR today. Normally after induction and intubation, Kingston puts up the drape to...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Local Man Relieved He Was Able to Yell at His Surgeon Just Before Going...
HERSHEY, PA – Early reports are coming in that local man, Frank Demmer, chewed out his surgeon in pre-operative bay five. "I’m just happy...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
Pyxis Stocked with Chocolate to Meet Anesthesia Department Needs
A recent pharmacy audit of the anesthesia department led to a change in pyxis inventory. “We thought going through the anesthesia cart drawers would...