Anesthesiology

new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

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"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known...
sh*tty consult

A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...

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1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...
types of beards

New Beard Policy Being Adopted at Many Hospitals in OR Clothing Algorithm

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Dear Hospital Employees, The following beard policy is being put into effect for your entire hospital.  This includes parking areas, food courts, and adjacent land.  We...

Stryker Surgical Snacks, The Perfect OR Treat

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DALLAS, TX – Stryker Surgical just released a new line bound to please every orthopedic surgeon, anesthesiologist, CRNA, OR nurse, surgical tech, and yes,...
Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan

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MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of...
long line

Anesthesiologist Becomes Millionaire Charging Admission to the Head of the Bed

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – At Burbank SurgiCenter, Jack Lloyd, MD. MBA., had become frustrated over the past several years with all the “visitors” at the...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...