sudoku mission accomplished

Victory: Anesthesia Solves Every Last Sudoku on Earth

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Citing today as unequivocally the greatest day in the history of anesthesiology, President of the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) Jeffrey...
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Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
or-drapes

Surgery & Anesthesia Ready to Take Things to the Next Level & Remove the...

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gossip alert!  According to our sources, Surgery & Anesthesia in OR 5 are ready to take things to the next...
anesthesiologist intubate bored anesthesiologist

Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia

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HOUSTON, TX - The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to complete the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, winning 34-28...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

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Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the...
acgme

Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction

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TUCSON, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist Henry Stutzman developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

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DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got...

Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid

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NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical...
incentive spirometer incentivized spirometer

New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath

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ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
anesthesiologist intubating

Anesthesiologist Calls Code Blue in Operating Room For True Emergency

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Today, a disastrous situation was narrowly averted at Gastric Bypass Takeback Hospital, when a code blue was announced to Operating...