Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table
DELTA 291 - Citing numerous reasons why he couldn't perform the maneuver by himself, passenger and general surgeon Richard Patton has asked Anesthesia to lower his tray table...
Anesthesiologists Wish Patients Could Intubate Themselves Once in a While
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - Tired of looking after every airway in this world, anesthesiologists admit they occasionally wish patients wouldn't be so lazy and unmotivated, and...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
Shirtless Tongan Braves Arctic Tundra of Operating Room
ANN ARBOR, MI - Olympic Tongan athlete, Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has been spotted standing shirtless and glistening in baby...
Anesthesiologist General Won’t Stop Asking President How Much Time He Has Left
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is growing impatient with the new Anesthesiologist General continually asking him how much time is left in his presidency.
Surgeon/Anesthesiologist General...
Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...
Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia
HOUSTON, TX - The New England Patriots came back from a 25-point deficit to complete the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, winning 34-28...