Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated
ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology...
Breaking: Anesthesia Absolutely Spent Adjusting Table Height
MONTREAL, QUEBEC - McGill University anesthesiologist, 42-year-old Eric Drouin, admits that he is absolutely spent after adjusting the table height this morning per the...
Phillips to Introduce Monitor that Only Alarms
DALLAS, TX - Today Phillips unveiled their mew monitor: Alarmtron 3000. This new monitor is the next step in evolution from the previous generation...
Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...
Pathetic Anesthesiologist Can’t Even Put Own Kids to Sleep
In an embarrassing display of parenting incompetence, 38-year-old anesthesiologist Eric Springer was unable to put his own kids to bed late Thursday night. That's...
OR Fires Increase as New Regulations are Enforced
Surgical suites across the nation are ablaze this week as rumors of a newly-formed Joint Commission task force has all parties involved sweating in...
Always Blame Nephrology
Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50.
Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis
Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today
Resident: Then, it is...
Anesthesiologist Behind Drape Plays Peakaboo with Surgeon
NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist and master entertainer Thomas Kingston couldn't believe he forgot his handmade puppets for his usual daily puppet show to entertain...
Trump Pardons Anesthesia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stating that he wanted to "give this pardon thing a test run... for no particular reason," President of the United States...