Anesthesia Accepts Blame for Everything Wrong in Universe, Life As We Know It
SCHAUMBURG, IL - In breaking news just in to Gomerblog today, the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has formally announced it will finally accept blame for...
Hospital Replaces Anesthesiologists with Voice-Activated OR Tables, Saves Millions
SAN JOSE, CA - In what appears to be a medical first, surgeons at Methodist Northwest Hospital have found that using voice-activated operating room...
Developing: Patient Professes “Deep Hatred of Needles”
RENO, NV - GomerBlog was first on the scene at a preoperative holding bay outside of the main OR, where a patient about to undergo...
Hospital Bans Seeing-Eye Dog from OR, ADA Suit Follows
FORT WAYNE, IL - Memorial Hospital has barred Dr. Alan Peterson from bringing his seeing-eye dog, Karmen, into the operating room (OR) where he has...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead
MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight. After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
Pyxis Stocked with Chocolate to Meet Anesthesia Department Needs
A recent pharmacy audit of the anesthesia department led to a change in pyxis inventory. “We thought going through the anesthesia cart drawers would...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Crossword Puzzle Shortage Has Nation’s Anesthesiologists in a Panic
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Sound the alarm bells: A nationwide crossword puzzle shortage has anesthesiologists from coast to coast in a panic, putting the livelihood of...