Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...
Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid
NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical...
Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...
Anesthesiologist General Requests Senate Democrats Continue to Perform all Presidential Blocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move sure to frustrate the President, Anesthesiologist General Dr. Jerome Adams has decided that he will not perform any...
Federal Aviation Administration’s Checklist-Oriented Outpatient Surgery Center Closes After Every Patient Dies
WASHINGTON, DC - In what many practicing clinicians have called “not at all surprising” and “what dimwit funded this incredibly stupid idea?” the FAA has...
Drug Shortages Lead OR Pharmacies to Issue Motivational Items
Nationwide drug shortages have forced physicians to consider alternative ways to take care of patients. At the forefront of this movement is the National...
Santa Claus Aspirates Milk, Cookies after Ignoring NPO Guidelines
NORTH POLE, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SIBERIA & ALASKA - Christmas has been canceled as Santa Claus fights for his life in the ICU. Thankfully he...
Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body
CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become...
Anesthesiologist Tired of Being Called ‘Anesthesia,’ Decides to Talk in 3rd Person with British...
BOULDER, CO - Dr. Shelly Druben, a practicing anesthesiologist, is tired of being called "anesthesia" by her coworkers in the operating room.
"All the nurses and operating...
Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....