New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per...
Passenger Wants Epidural Before Squeezing Into Middle Economy Seat
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Realizing that there was no other way around what would otherwise be four hours of misery, lanky and long-limbed 6'...
Doula Organization Claims Medical Legitimacy
SAN DIEGO, CA - Craig Hartford, spokesman for the Doula Association of Southern California (DASC), released a statement last week claiming that doulas had at...
COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This
SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing....
Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread
GREENEVILLE, TN - St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot...
Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Hillary Clinton Blames Benghazi on Anesthesia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last week former Secretary of State and self-presumed next president Hillary Clinton, testified before Congress about the Benghazi Tragedy in 2012....
Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...