Anesthesia Blamed for Rand Paul Attack
BOWLING GREEN, KY - In yet another case of everything being blamed on Anesthesia, reports are now circulating that even the attack on Rand...
Mayim Bialik causes The American Society of Anesthesiologists to Quit and Rebrand
Mayim Bialik may be the straw that broke the camel’s back once and for all for Anesthesiologists throughout the world. On Friday night’s Jeopardy...
Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask. "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer. Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves,...
ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing. This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
Anesthesiologist Puts Up Drape, Puppet Show for Surgeons
NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist Thomas Kingston was the hit of the OR today. Normally after induction and intubation, Kingston puts up the drape to...
Breaking: VA Pick Ronny Jackson Withdraws from Both Nomination, Opioids
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the "baseless and anonymous attacks on my character" as well as intractable abdominal cramps, lacrimation, and rhinorrhea, White House physician Rear...
COVID-19: Self-Quarantined Anesthesiologist Running Dangerously Low on Sudoku Supplies
BIRMINGHAM, AL - An area anesthesiologist who is currently 3 days into his 14-day self-imposed quarantine behind a drape fort is unusually anxious and...