Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Surgeon General: Attorney General’s Progress Note Copied Directly from H&P
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Surgeon General Jerome Adams released his opinion in a press statement that Attorney General William Barr “simply copied relevant portions of...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery
VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...
Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy
OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...
Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
Anesthesia Resident Falls Asleep During Case, Reprimanded For Missing Lunch Break
CHICAGO, IL - Chaos ensued at a Chicago hospital last week when an anesthesia resident was missing from the surgical lounge. Around 10 a.m.,...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Five-Second Rule Validated in the Operating Room
CHICAGO, IL - In a paradigm shift for the operating room, a new study has found that reusing instruments dropped on the operating room...