Hospitalists

mars

NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars

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MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades.  Successful travel to and habitation of...
hospitalist place

Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture

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Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of...
IV catheter

Acute GI Bleed ER Patient Admitted to ICU with One 22g IV Dangling in...

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CLEVELAND, OH – Initial news feeds are reporting that an acute GI bleed patient is being transferred up from the ER to the ICU...
wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Iron Man hemochromatosis

Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis

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NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

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ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
hesitate hesitation hesitating

Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions

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AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help...