Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...
KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Doctor Makes His Pager DNR
MARIETTA, GA - “It was time,” explained hospitalist James Smith as he caressed his American Messaging pager circa 1981 with its screen reminiscent of...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR
KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...
All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!
ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...