Hospitalists

birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
attending physician

Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...

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At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds.  Every...
paddles for defibrillation

Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on...

Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag

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MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
Iron Man hemochromatosis

Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis

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NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
potassium

Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
INR 0 ENT

Interventional Radiology To Only Do Procedures if INR < 0

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OAK BROOK, IL - In an effort to completely eliminate the risk of bleeding, newly-issued guidelines from the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA)...