Hospitalists

hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
standardized patient

Family Meeting Gone Awry: Patient Makes Medical Team DNR

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KNOXVILLE, TN - In a palliative care-run family meeting that has gone completely awry, a patient and family has made their multidisciplinary inpatient medical...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
heavy metal

Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia

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DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...

Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have...
attending physician

Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...

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At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds.  Every...
influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

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ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...
chest pain rule out toy elephant

Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

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DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...

Diagnostic Criteria for a ‘Train Wreck’ Patient

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How does one identify a train wreck?  GomerBlog polled 1,000,000 health care providers in the last 48 hours and the general consensus is that,...