Hospitalists

yellow isolation ballroom gown

Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning

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PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by...

Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag

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MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong

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ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...
birthday

On-Call Doctor Celebrates Birthday with 17 of His Closest Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Absolutely convinced that there was no better way to spend this special day, on-call internal medicine physician Jack Romeo celebrated his 34th birthday with 17 of...
gunner physician

Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day

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ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the...
vancomycin and zosyn soup

Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn

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Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul?  It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
veterinarian

Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...