Hospitalists

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Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...
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Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
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God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

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HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...
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American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging

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Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat. Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If...
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Report from ACP Internal Medicine Conference: Record Attendance by Internists Leaves Surgeons Struggling to...

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BOSTON, MA - GomerBlog is on hand to report that a record number of internists and hospitalists have attended this year’s American College of...

U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”

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TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
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Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium

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LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...

Breaking: Penlights Extinct

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CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports. "It is with...