Hospitalists

2014 ACLS algorithm

Study: The People’s Elbow is the Most Electrifying Move in All of ACLS

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HAYWARD, CA - FINALLY!  The Rock… HAS COME BACK... to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)!  A new study in the New England Journal of Sports Entertainment...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

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Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...
health care

Hospitalist Breaks His Own Record by Seeing 100 Patients in a Day

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Dr. Speedy Gonzalez didn’t realize untill he counted the number of patients at the end of a busy Saturday evening that he had broken...
sticker shock vasopressin

Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock

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MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin...
IV catheter

Acute GI Bleed ER Patient Admitted to ICU with One 22g IV Dangling in...

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CLEVELAND, OH – Initial news feeds are reporting that an acute GI bleed patient is being transferred up from the ER to the ICU...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...

Ask a Hospitalist

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Dear Hospitalist, I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks.  I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when...
excited woman

Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm

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ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...