Hospitalists

Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...
influenza C. diff

That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff

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ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers...

BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist

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Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has...

Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag

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MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...

Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized‏

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So who doesn’t love neckties?  Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon.  Cheers to that!  Here...
gunner physician

Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day

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ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the...
limited-edition discharge summary vinyl

Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl

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NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...

Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before

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BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life.  And he...