Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently
HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...
ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 1: Macaw Documentation
October 1, 2015 marks the transition to ICD-10, a diagnostic system with a level of detail so specific that no one cares. ICD-10’s greatest...
Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management
BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every...
Patients on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Now Required to Have Yellow Cart Outside of...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A new mandate was recently passed that now requires ALL patients that were in contact precautions in the hospital, must have...
Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas
Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...