Hospitalists

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

0
ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
tuck patient

Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home

0
PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

0
JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
EM Doctor

Internal Medicine Resident Ecstatic About Upcoming Emergency Department Rotation

0
STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up.  "When I...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

0
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
bedside komodo dragon

PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon

0
MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...
hospitalist place

Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture

0
Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

0
If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

0
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
tilt table

Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t

0
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt...