Hospitalists

Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit

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BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break!  He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
paddles for defibrillation

Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on...

Hospitalist Spends Day After Christmas Returning Unwanted Admissions

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MORGANTON, NC - Like most people in America, Dr. Lara Nottarg got some things for Christmas that she didn’t exactly want. Unlike most Americans,...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...
bedside komodo dragon

PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon

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MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...
obs observation unit

Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit.  She made...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents

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CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal...