Hospitalists

annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...
barium enema

Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon

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NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
fecal transplant recipient

Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video

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BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye...

Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag

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MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...

Medical Student Struggles to Stay Awake During Radiology Rotation

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OMAHA, NE - Despite doubling up on his morning coffee, medical student Brad Haverford has found it exceedingly difficult to stay awake during his fourth-year...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...