Hospitalists

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...
Amazon Echo

Cardiologist Extremely Disappointed by Amazon Echo

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DALLAS, TX - Unable to visualize any cardiac images let alone make any useful observations about the human heart, a cardiologist at Baylor University...

Area LEGO Man Admitted with Bright Red Blocks Per Rectum

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LEGOLAND, FL - An area LEGO man is in serious condition at LEGOLAND Medical Center after he presented to the emergency department (ED) with...
blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...

Doctor Makes His Pager DNR

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MARIETTA, GA - “It was time,” explained hospitalist James Smith as he caressed his American Messaging pager circa 1981 with its screen reminiscent of...
EM doctor vs Hospitalist

ZDoggMD: “The Confrontation” (Les Misérables Parody)

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Here is one of our favorite ZDoggMD videos from the past.  A hospitalist and an emergency medicine physician go at it in a Les...
moon placement

Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon

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If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement.  But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
aspirin 331 mg inflation

Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...