FDA Reminder: Baby Aspirin Not Actually Meant for Babies
SILVER SPRING, MD - Looking to clear things up to the confused American public, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a reminder that...
Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult
MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants.
"It's simple," she explains. "We give...
Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag
MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...
Hospitalist Hopes Stethoscope Fairy Leaves Money Under Pillow
ATLANTA, GA - Thinking he might get a fiver for it, hospitalist Jeff Rodgers placed his broken stethoscope under the pillow before going to...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
Tips: How to Keep Your Necktie Nice & Colonized
So who doesn’t love neckties? Not only do they strangle your windpipe, but they also spread disease with reckless abandon. Cheers to that! Here...
Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet
AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...