Hospitalists

hospitalist place

Hospitalists Aim to Place All Americans by 2020

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Society of Hospital Medicine (SHM) has announced a new multibillion-dollar PBP initiative, which stands for "Place, Baby, Place!", with the...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...
Lumbar Puncture LP Spinal Tap

Two Examples of Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Notes

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Amazingly Subpar Lumbar Puncture Procedure Note #1 Procedure: This is Spinal Tap. Date/Time: Optional. Indication: Infectious Diseases said it was a good idea. Resident: Dr. Kyle Richter, PGY-1. Attending: Yes. A time-out was completed to...
limited-edition discharge summary vinyl

Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl

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NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be...

BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist

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Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has...
hesitate hesitation hesitating

Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions

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AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...

Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying

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“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...
tilt table

Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...