Hospitalists

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Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus

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BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...

Patient in Room 3 Worried After Code Blues in 1, 2, 4 & 5

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ATLANTA, GA - “Oh God oh God oh God!” is what Tim McConnell said to himself in a fit of paranoia after a fourth...

Area Doctor Obtains ‘DNR’ Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at...

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BOCA RATON, FL - After briefly working at a rehab facility, traumatized area physician Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram rushed to a local tattoo parlor to have "DNR"...
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Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions

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AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help...
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Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
health care

Hospitalist Breaks His Own Record by Seeing 100 Patients in a Day

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Dr. Speedy Gonzalez didn’t realize untill he counted the number of patients at the end of a busy Saturday evening that he had broken...
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Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...
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Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
plywood spool

Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool

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ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to...