Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his...
ICU Signout: ‘Codes Every Few Minutes, But Otherwise Stable’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - During signout for the patient transferring out of the medical intensive care unit (MICU) today, third-year medical resident Louis Jenner...
Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons
SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing...
Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong
ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his...
Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...
Study: The People’s Elbow is the Most Electrifying Move in All of ACLS
HAYWARD, CA - FINALLY! The Rock… HAS COME BACK... to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)! A new study in the New England Journal of Sports Entertainment...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
Interventional Radiology To Only Do Procedures if INR < 0
OAK BROOK, IL - In an effort to completely eliminate the risk of bleeding, newly-issued guidelines from the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA)...
Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts
CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...
Acute GI Bleed ER Patient Admitted to ICU with One 22g IV Dangling in...
CLEVELAND, OH – Initial news feeds are reporting that an acute GI bleed patient is being transferred up from the ER to the ICU...