Hospitalists

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...

Hospitalist Spends Day After Christmas Returning Unwanted Admissions

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MORGANTON, NC - Like most people in America, Dr. Lara Nottarg got some things for Christmas that she didn’t exactly want. Unlike most Americans,...

Ask a Hospitalist

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Dear Hospitalist, I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks.  I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when...
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Breaking: Consultant Called for Non-Urgent Consult at Reasonable Hour

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NASHVILLE, TN - First-year infectious diseases fellow Lena Burke burst into tears of joy when in the rarest of occurrences - certainly the first...

Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag

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MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
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Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

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DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...

U.S. Women’s Relay Team Elects to Use Femur, Not Baton for Handoffs

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - For this week's upcoming track and field event, the USA Track & Field Women's 4x100m Team has announced that it has...
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Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...