Hospitalists

hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

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CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Brave MD Sorts Through Inbox of 100,000 COVID-19 Emails

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PORTLAND, OR - It goes without saying that every act of bravery in a time of crisis should be recognized. Today Gomerblog wants...
2014 ACLS algorithm

Study: The People’s Elbow is the Most Electrifying Move in All of ACLS

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HAYWARD, CA - FINALLY!  The Rock… HAS COME BACK... to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)!  A new study in the New England Journal of Sports Entertainment...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...
Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
wishbone

Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone

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NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
attending physician

Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday

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NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...