Hospitalists

signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...

Ask a Hospitalist

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Dear Hospitalist, I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks.  I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...

Patient Still 10/10 Pain Even After a ‘Being-Set-On-Fire’ Analogy

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NEWARK, NJ - Patient Deborah Skemp woke up today at 6:30 a.m. during rounds by her physician Dr. Waters.  He asked her the usual morning...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting...
family meeting

Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members

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BOCA RATON, FL - Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has been trapped in an apparent healthcare time vortex as he continues to be forced to re-explain medical care...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Ultra Breaking News: Patient Doesn’t Want Turkey Sandwich

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NORFOLK, VA - Gomerblog brings you a startling development: A patient hospitalized at an area hospital in Norfolk has caught his inpatient medical team...

Radiologist Misses Right Lower Lobe Pokémon on Chest X-Ray

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IOWA CITY, IA – Reports from the radiology reading room at Mercy Hospital indicate that veteran radiologist, John Hoskins, completely missed a Pokémon in...
Totally Unclear Murky Liquid Diet

Patient Put on Totally Unclear, Very Murky Liquid Diet

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AUSTIN, TX - Seeking to ruffle some feathers by going against the usual progression from NPO to clear liquids, hospitalist Roy McRoy placed his...