Hospitalists

vancomycin and zosyn soup

Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn

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Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul?  It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with...
routine blood work urine A-fib B-minus

Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to...

Latest Research Suggests That a Nice Family Prognosticates Mortality in the Intensive Care Unit

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ABSTRACT Background A group of 1594 (667 were excluded for lack of relative personality traits) patients in a large metropolitan hospital were enrolled in a research...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
signed off sign off

Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...

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KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...

Doctor Makes His Pager DNR

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MARIETTA, GA - “It was time,” explained hospitalist James Smith as he caressed his American Messaging pager circa 1981 with its screen reminiscent of...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...

Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016

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The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated.  The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here....

Medical Student Struggles to Stay Awake During Radiology Rotation

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OMAHA, NE - Despite doubling up on his morning coffee, medical student Brad Haverford has found it exceedingly difficult to stay awake during his fourth-year...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...