Hospitalists

tilt table

Breaking: Tilt Table All Crooked & Sh*t

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, hospitalists, cardiologists, and neurologists at Emory Healthcare have come to a rare consensus, agreeing this tilt...
chest pain rule out toy elephant

Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

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DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

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Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...
PM&R doctor

An Internist’s Guide to STAT Overnight Pages

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At 7:30pm: So what’s the discharge plan for this patient? Follow up: Remind the nurse that you’re the overnight resident and haven’t been attending case...
appreciating appreciative appreciate

Wow, Hospitalist Appreciating the Hell Outta Everyone in Today’s Progress Note

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DURHAM, NC - In a particularly thankful mood today, hospitalist Poonam Trivedi has really gone all out, appreciating the hell out of everyone today in her progress...
gunner physician

Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day

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ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge...

Breaking: Penlights Extinct

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CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports. "It is with...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Program Offers 7-Years-On/7-Years-Off Schedule

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PHOENIX, AZ—Many hospitalist programs around the country follow a 7-on/7-off model where clinicians work long hours for 7 consecutive days followed by a full...