Atlanta Uses Heparin Bridge for Collapsed, Subtherapeutic Part of I-85
ATLANTA, GA - Nearly 24 hours after a massive fire engulfed and collapsed a section of I-85 Northbound near Piedmont Road, rendering it subtherapeutic and...
Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding
ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order...
Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
On a Hot Streak, Palliative Care Makes 35th Straight Patient DNR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Displaying once again why they are the most dominant subspecialty at Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) right now, Palliative Care...
PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon
MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...
Breaking: Penlights Extinct
CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports.
"It is with...
All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!
ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...