Ask a Hospitalist
Dear Hospitalist,
I’ve been having chest pain for the past three weeks. I get it right in the middle of the chest, it's worse when...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t
COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...
Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective
By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley
Placement. I like placement. I like nursing home placement. I like rehab placement. I like acute rehab placement. I like...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every...
Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon
If there's something social workers and hospitalists are really good at it's placement. But every once in a while a difficult placement comes along....
Barium Enema Reveals Abnormal Presence of Barium in the Colon
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team was shocked to learn that a barium enema performed earlier today revealed an abnormal presence of...
Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently
HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...
Cardiologist Extremely Disappointed by Amazon Echo
DALLAS, TX - Unable to visualize any cardiac images let alone make any useful observations about the human heart, a cardiologist at Baylor University...