What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess
SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...
KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management
BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a...
Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
PT Recommends Bedside Commode, Bedside Komodo Dragon
MARIETTA, GA - Physical Therapy has just left recommendations for hospitalist David Walker regarding their mutual patient 50-year-old Gina Welch, who was admitted for pneumonia,...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...