Hospitalists

surgical management

Ortho Consults Medicine for Surgical Management

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an act that most definitely crosses the line, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has consulted Medicine for surgical management of a...
MRI scanner claustrophobia

Cooped Up MRI Machine Requests Ativan for Claustrophobia

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LOS ANGELES, CA - An MRI scanner that has been cooped up in the radiology department at Olive View-UCLA Medical Center for the past...
appreciating appreciative appreciate

Wow, Hospitalist Appreciating the Hell Outta Everyone in Today’s Progress Note

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DURHAM, NC - In a particularly thankful mood today, hospitalist Poonam Trivedi has really gone all out, appreciating the hell out of everyone today in her progress...
heavy metal

Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia

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DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
paramedics

Hospital Gets Inadequate Transfer Documents, Sends Patient Back

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A tertiary care academic medical center has sent shockwaves through the medical community after sending a patient back to the transferring...
social worker

Medical Clinical Social Worker Treats Hospitalist Breakdown, Early Stages

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Attempting to leave on time for the first time in two years, Jen was on her way towards the...
Quaker State Canola Oil

Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil

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Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions. Cons /...
excited woman

Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm

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ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of...
troponin bump

Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump

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NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs,...