Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust
MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...
Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes
NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars
MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades. Successful travel to and habitation of...
CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus
ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
CDC: Inhale Lysol Before, After Every COVID-19 Encounter
ATLANTA, GA - Based on recent review of the available evidence, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) strongly recommends inhaling Lysol before...
‘I Can’t Afford These $4 Meds!’ Says Patient with iPhone 6s Plus (Gold) &...
ATHENS, GA - “I can’t afford these meds!” hospitalized patient Jason Redmond told his medical team, as he folded closed his 13-inch MacBook Air. Redmond...
Hospitalist Washes Car with Alcohol-Based Foam
NASHVILLE, TN - Hospitalist Dana Avery walked into her patient’s room this morning and noticed he was using alcohol-based foam. Not an unusual observation. ...
ICU Signout: ‘Codes Every Few Minutes, But Otherwise Stable’
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - During signout for the patient transferring out of the medical intensive care unit (MICU) today, third-year medical resident Louis Jenner...