Hospitalists

Insomniac Cured After One Question, Wonders Why He Didn’t Think of It Before

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BISMARCK, ND - In an unprecedented success story, patient Igor Soapen has finally been relieved of the insomnia that plagued his life.  And he...

Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...
hospitalist place

Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective

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By Hospitalist Dr. Eric O'Malley Placement.  I like placement.  I like nursing home placement.  I like rehab placement.  I like acute rehab placement.  I like...

Medical Student Struggles to Stay Awake During Radiology Rotation

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OMAHA, NE - Despite doubling up on his morning coffee, medical student Brad Haverford has found it exceedingly difficult to stay awake during his fourth-year...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
obs observation unit

Patient Transferred from Observation Unit to Intervention Unit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Physician assistant (PA) Iris Jones thought it was just another day in the Observation Unit or Obs Unit.  She made...
car wash purell

Hospitalist Washes Car with Alcohol-Based Foam

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NASHVILLE, TN - Hospitalist Dana Avery walked into her patient’s room this morning and noticed he was using alcohol-based foam.  Not an unusual observation. ...
paramedics

Hospital Gets Inadequate Transfer Documents, Sends Patient Back

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - A tertiary care academic medical center has sent shockwaves through the medical community after sending a patient back to the transferring...
acid-base disorders

Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a...
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...