Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium
LOUISVILLE, KY - An inpatient multidisciplinary team of nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, nutritionists, hospitalists, nephrologists, and cardiologists at Louisville Medical Center (LMC) has...
Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...
An Internist’s Guide to STAT Overnight Pages
At 7:30pm: So what’s the discharge plan for this patient?
Follow up: Remind the nurse that you’re the overnight resident and haven’t been attending case...
Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home
PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors...
Nurse O.J. Simpson Can’t Ever Get a Glove to Fit
BRENTWOOD, CA - Geez, O.J. Simpson just can't get a break! He has been asked over and over again to go into a patient's...
Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag
MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Jealous of All the Consultants Who Signed Off, Primary Team Decides to Sign Off...
KNOXVILLE, TN - After numerous consultants signed off of the case due to the patient's improving clinical condition, the primary inpatient internal medicine team...