Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN
Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital. Shockingly, rather than...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
OB/GYN with Tiny Fingers Has Zero Idea What a Cervix Feels Like
TUCSON, AZ - A retiring obstetrician, who has requested to remain anonymous for this piece, recently issued a public statement of admission. Presumably to...
Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause
CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks. She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff.
"Glitter...
Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding
My name is Valerie. I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life. I'm happily married and have two...
Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals
PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on. That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha...
Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby
LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby. She has...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...