What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet. One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...
Obstetrician Preferred to be Called ‘Vagician’
TARNIHONNOK, MD - Local OB/GYN or self proclaimed vagician, Dr. Fredrick Schmidt, refuses to wear traditional scrubs in the delivery room. He'll dim the lights,...
North Korea Agrees to Sync Menstrual Periods with South Korea in Display of Unity
KOREAN PENINSULA - In a display of unity, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has agreed to change his country's menstrual periods so that...
No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
Attractive Medical Student Only Gets ‘High Pass’
PHILADELPHIA, PA - An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. ...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...