Pregnant

Study Linking Tylenol Use During Pregnancy and ADHD Partially Funded by Motrin

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NEW YORK - The FDA is now issuing an urgent warning against the recently released study in JAMA Pediatrics linking Tylenol use during pregnancy...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
shag OR

Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’

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NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet.  One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...

Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly

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BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

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NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...

North Korea Agrees to Sync Menstrual Periods with South Korea in Display of Unity

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KOREAN PENINSULA - In a display of unity, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has agreed to change his country's menstrual periods so that...
graham crackers

97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets

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BOUND BROOK, NJ - A study in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Snack Foods (NEJSF) has confirmed that 97% of...
ACOG

The ACOG Changes Pregnancy to 42 Weeks, Makes Dividing into Trimesters Easier

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HILLBRANCH, SC – The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recently released groundbreaking news: pregnancy will now be extended to 42 weeks instead of...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...