It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill
INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
OB/GYN Resident Skills Directly Linked to Number of Medical Students Made to Cry
BOZEMAN, MT - A recent study using data gathered from women's hospitals nationwide, recently confirmed a longtime hypothesis: OB/GYN residents who are the most adept...
Attention Pregnant Women, Make Womb for the Robotic Midwife!
Citing increased patient demand for high-tech solutions to problems that don’t exist, C.L. Uless, CEO of OB/GYN Kenobi Inc. has introduced the first robotic...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Fetuses Leave Mothers’ Wombs in Pregxit Vote
LONDON, ENGLAND - On the heels of England's Brexit vote, a new Pregxit referendum has entered into the fray: British fetuses now want to...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...