OB/GYN with Tiny Fingers Has Zero Idea What a Cervix Feels Like
TUCSON, AZ - A retiring obstetrician, who has requested to remain anonymous for this piece, recently issued a public statement of admission. Presumably to...
Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet. One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...
Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City
NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters.
"It's...
Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name
PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!" Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes
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Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot
GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities.
The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is...
27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause
CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks. She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff.
"Glitter...