Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...
Obstetrician Preferred to be Called ‘Vagician’
TARNIHONNOK, MD - Local OB/GYN or self proclaimed vagician, Dr. Fredrick Schmidt, refuses to wear traditional scrubs in the delivery room. He'll dim the lights,...
Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983. Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...
WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed....
BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...