Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all...
Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet. One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in...
Newborn Delivered at 35,000 Feet: A Doctor’s Perspective
SOMEWHERE OVER HOBOKEN, NJ – It’s amazing how there is always a doctor around when you need one. Hardly 200 miles into my flight...
Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...
Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie
On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic. This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...
Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...
Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...