Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby
LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby. She has...
Study: Length of Birth Plan Correlates to Length of C-Section Scar
ST. LOUIS, MO - A new study just published in the latest Obstetrics and Gynecology Journal demonstrated that the longer a woman’s birth plan...
Hippie Dolphin Has Natural Air Birth
TROPIC OF CANCER, PACIFIC OCEAN - Local dolphin, Current, gave birth to a healthy pup: Nevaeh. Current wanted her baby born at the Tropic of...
False Alarm: Department of Labor Having Braxton Hicks Contractions
BROOKLYN, NY - OB/GYNs at New York Methodist Hospital are reassuring New Yorkers that the pains felt at the Department of Labor on Schermerhorn Street...
Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48
SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November. Proposition 46 includes proposals...
Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...
Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat
Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news. One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...
Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...