FDA Approves 55-Hour ENERGY for Incoming July Interns
WASHINGTON, DC - In a major win for soon-to-be-exhausted incoming July interns at residency programs across the land, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
Case Report: OB/GYN Resident Not Always Catty, Actually Is Relatively Friendly
BOCA RATON, FL - Medical students across the nation have been bewildered by the outrageous report that local OB/GYN Ann Hedonia is only catty on...
Beyoncé’s 3-Month Sonogram Reveals Twins Harmonizing In Womb
NEW YORK, NY - Speaking after a routine visit to the pop sensation's obstetrician, Beyoncé's agent confirmed to the press that the most recent...
The ACOG Changes Pregnancy to 42 Weeks, Makes Dividing into Trimesters Easier
HILLBRANCH, SC – The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recently released groundbreaking news: pregnancy will now be extended to 42 weeks instead of...
Tooth Fairy Refusing to Take Teeth from a Teratoma
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Monday, Brittany Friedly underwent surgery to remove a mass on her left ovary. It was a teratoma that contained hair and 7 gnarly teeth. ...
Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19
ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1. Let’s go!
Nutrition
Translation: Like it or...