New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...
Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all...
Surgical Resident Delivers Mid-Case, Stays to Close
MASS. GENERAL HOSPITAL - Dr. Hannah Richards, a 3rd year surgical resident, was 39+0 weeks pregnant going into Thursday. She scrubbed into Dr. Alexander's hemicolectomy...
Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...
No-Show Rates Skyrocket Around Flag Day
ARLINGTON, VA - Citing elaborate Flag Day celebrations, year after year patients just don't show up at Hamilton & Burr Trauma Hospital near our nation's...
Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself,"...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery.
“It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
Study: Length of Birth Plan Correlates to Length of C-Section Scar
ST. LOUIS, MO - A new study just published in the latest Obstetrics and Gynecology Journal demonstrated that the longer a woman’s birth plan...