OB-GYN

Buried Placenta Grows Baby Tree

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over...
obstetrician

Field Guide To The Exotic Birds of Labor & Delivery

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The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants...
Monty Python

Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration

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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983.  Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
ob/gyn delivery newborn

Clumsy OB/GYN Intern Fumbles a Record 11 Babies

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Ham-handed OB/GYN intern, Leanna “Butterfingers” McCoy, set a new hospital record at MetLife Medical Center yesterday with a record 11 baby...
Department of Labor

False Alarm: Department of Labor Having Braxton Hicks Contractions

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BROOKLYN, NY - OB/GYNs at New York Methodist Hospital are reassuring New Yorkers that the pains felt at the Department of Labor on Schermerhorn Street...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...

27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause

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CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks.  She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff. "Glitter...

Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat

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Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news.  One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her...
mosquito

ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus

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For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...