Orthopedics

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COVID-19 Update: Orthopods Suspend Bro Hugs for 60 Days

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NEW YORK, NY - First, Italy went on lockdown. Then March Madness was canceled; the NBA and NHL suspended their seasons. Now Gomerblog has learned in a breaking development the nation's army...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Women to be recruited into ortho with promise of no line for bathroom

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The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons has begun a new campaign to entice women to enter a career in orthopaedic surgery. Dr. David Bonaparte, diversity coordinator for the AAOS, believes the new campaign will...
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Breaking the ORIF Mold: Orthopedists Repurpose Invisalign for Fixations

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BREAKING: Clearview, Tennessee. After seeing the widespread success of Invisalign braces for orthodontists and their patients, orthopedic surgeons have joined the party. Clearview Hospital is paving the way as the first to provide Orthopedic...

Tom Brady Suffers Congestive Arm Failure

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Foxborough, MA - In a shocking development that could spell the end of his storied football career, Tom Brady developed acute congestive arm failure (CAF) in the first quarter of the New England Patriots...

The Definitive Bone Rankings

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Globogym Headquarters, CA- It’s interview season for 4th year Medical Students applying for residencies and every area of medicine has a beloved question that every applicant is asked without fail. Each question has a...
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BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with internal fixation of a uterus. The patient was a 76-year-old woman...
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Orthopods Reclassified as Bromo Sapiens

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In their first update in nearly two years, the American Taxonomy Society (ATS) has placed arthropods under their own genus, formally renaming them Bromo sapiens. "There's no doubt if Carl Linnaeus was...

Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”

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New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC announced today that the hospital isn’t really...
Brie Hammersley complete blood loss

Op Note: ‘Successful Despite Complete Blood Loss’

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - With the exception of complete and total blood loss, today's routine total left hip arthroplasty was a resounding success devoid of complications, according to orthopedic surgeon Brie Hammersley. "We're pleased to...

BREAKING: Ortho Intern is First Hospital Employee to Actually Enjoy Joint Commission Visit

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Hospital administrators are up in arms due to Joint Commission complaints that ortho intern, Seth Sholderson, is impeding the Commission’s ability to complete a comprehensive hospital review. One administrator commented, “Usually we...