Orthopedic Applicant Tears Phonebook in Half to Seal Interview
NEW YORK, NY - By the time Dr. Johnny "The Hammer" Utah, a fourth-year orthopedic resident at SUNY, Empire State, was applying for his...
Obama Breaks Wrist, Fails To Find Doc Who Accepts His Insurance
WASHINGTON, D.C - Earlier today during a pick-up basketball game with congressional notables, President Obama attempted a slam dunk and landed awkwardly on his...
Orthopod Appalled to Learn About Calcium Channel Blockers
GREEN BAY, WI - Local Orthopaedic surgeon Stan Deverance was at a hospital wide grand rounds last week when he uncovered a nearly unspeakable...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
NASHVILLE, TN - Orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley was consulted last night after the wishbone of an 18-lb. turkey was shattered by two members of the...
Woodstock Veteran Disappointed to Learn New Joint Made of Titanium and Plastic
BERKELEY, CA - Bill “Doobie” Bogarter fondly refers to Woodstock as the “best two weeks I can’t remember.” He was the first faculty at...
Orthopedic Surgeon Creates a Cyborg by Mistake After Replacing Every Joint in the Body
“It wasn’t till my 80-year-old patient told me, 'Hasta la vista, baby,' that I realized that she has been turned into a T-810 by...
Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery
KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...
Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA
WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.
This hasn't been an...
American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging
Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat.
Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If...