Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair
LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for a sh*tty-ass lawn chair that he dug out of the...
On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning
NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I first started to suspect sundowing when the on-call attending Dr....
Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines
ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to his metabolic syndrome, the patient has instead gone off on...
Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her at this very moment that today is actually Thursday not...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray, allowing patients to be gratified and sedated simultaneously.
The appetizing creation...
Medical Student Induces Auto-Dystonia from Over-Nodding
MADISON, WI - A new case report in the journal American College of Higher Education (ACHE) describes the first known case of self-induced auto-dystonia in a medical student. The student, Jamie Turtle, had been...
Psychiatrist Calls Code for Physical Exam
Dr. Oliver Starsky was recently honored at the American Psychiatric Association’s Annual Meeting after he called a code blue on a psychiatric patient who required a physical exam.
“I’ve been in this business for three...
Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain
SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her.
"How bad is your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?" asked her...
Nervous Patient’s KUB Shows Butterflies in Her Stomach
LOS ANGELES, CA - A 44-year-old female was preparing for a big work-related speech when she presented to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with anxiety and nausea worse than what is typical for her known fear...
