News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

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It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
Rosie, Da Vinci

Da Vinci & Rosie from The Jetsons are Dating!!

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ORBIT CITY - In exciting news from Orbit Medical Center (OMC), the Jetsons' household robot, Rosie the Maid, was seen spotted with her new...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

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KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan...

Intern Singing Bee Gees During Code

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What began as a routine code on the dialysis unit turned euphonic this past Wednesday morning after new intern Rob Eide began audibly singing...

Da Vinci on Pace to Win Gold in the All-Around

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Da Vinci Robot came to the Olympic games with high hopes. Bob Costas has called him "the single greatest...
doctor lunch

Hospital Creates Mandatory Lunch Breaks for Residents

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NEW YORK, NY - In response to updated duty hour regulations, The Good Hospital implemented mandatory lunch breaks for residents. “At first, I kept staring...
vp shunt

Stephen Hawking Develops VP Shunt Law

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UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND - Brilliant theoretical physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking has stunned the scientific community once again. After years of researching the...
vaccination

Startling Report: CDC Recommends Against Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate

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ATLANTA, GA - After a funding change, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) completed a meta-analysis using super statistical procedures and skewed...

Headlines from the Week in Medical News

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ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process. AKRON, OH -...