In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form
LAKE BLUFF, IL - You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available...
Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks
MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...
Medical Subspecialty Headlines Show Captivation with Thai Soccer Team Rescue
Everyone has been captivated and relieved with the unbelievable rescue of a Thai soccer team through the heroic efforts of the Thai Navy SEAL...
Breaking: Scott Pruitt Leaves EPA to Join Hospital Ethics Committee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald J. Trump announced over Twitter this afternoon that Scott Pruitt will be leaving his leadership role as Administrator of...
Breaking: 1 in 500 Can’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking
HAYWARD, CA - The Rock says it all the time: "Can YA SMELL-LALALALALALALLALALA-OWWWWWW what The Rock…. is cooking?!" But can everyone smell what The...
ACC/AHA: Check Out the Curves on Dr. Frank, Dr. Starling!!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Cardiology (ACC) & American Heart Association (AHA) have issued a joint statement, telling people to look over...
Alopecia Fail: Embarrassed Bald Eagle Clearly Wearing a Wig
ANCHORAGE, AK - Still not over the frustrating failure with Rogaine (minoxidil) in October 2017, our nation's symbol was spotted clearly wearing a wig...
CDC Director Resigns, Becomes CEO of Tobacco Giant Philip Morris
ATLANTA, GA - The Director of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Brenda Fitzgerald has officially resigned her CDC post to become CEO of tobacco...
‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned! This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever...