Friday, April 26, 2024

Surgery

operating room

Which Surgical Specialty Should You Choose?

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It’s that time of year: residency application season!  You’ve decided that performing procedures, malignant personalities, and years of grueling training are for you but to which surgical subspecialty are you best suited?  Take our 4...
orthopedic resident

Orthopedic Resident Suspended for Not Logging Romantic Endeavors

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NEW YORK, NY - Richard Steel, a PGY-4 orthopaedic resident in New York City, was suspended from duties after failing to log his dates from the beginning of residency. As per the new ACGME...
traffic jam outside of operating room

Traffic Report: Pile-Up In Front of OR 21

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HOUSTON, TX - At approximately 5:13 PM today there was a multiple-bed collision in front of OR 21 causing a delay in all outbound traffic from Healthy Houston Hospital operating rooms. Witnesses saw a speeding...
orthopedic surgeon ortho spelling bee WBAT sticks & stones

Breaking: Ortho Declares War on Sticks & Stones

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS) has officially declared war on sticks and stones, Gomerblog reports.  “Starting today we formally declare war on two of our greatest adversaries: sticks & stones,”...
anesthesia

Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

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BOSTON, MA - Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a "no-show strike." "We were prepping and draping the patient, ready to start the case, when...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear of touching or looking at eyeballs, otherwise called ommetaphobia. “It just...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the east coast after a recent FDA approval.  Typically when a...
decapitation

Stricter Operating Room Attire Policy Now Calls for Decapitation

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After extensive evidence-based research, recent updates to the hospital policy for OR hats and attire were released at the staff meeting last Friday.  New updates include calling for eliminating the...
miss universal healthcare

Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare

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BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of Internal Medicine, and contestants from over 60 other subspecialties across...

Thousands Dead in Battle Between Ophthalmologists and Optometrists

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WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of eye care providers were found dead in the streets Monday morning after a vicious battle erupted between ophthalmologists and optometrists in our nation’s capital. The two groups share a long...