Friday, March 29, 2024

Surgery

vital sign monitor

Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records

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SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign, or 5th if one neglects to think of pain as...

Surgeon Rips on Nurses, Hospitalists, and ER Docs, and Twitter Delivers a Massive Takedown

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TWITTERVERSE - A colorectal surgeon posted a rant about the care he received in an odd location "Psychology Today." The rant, which since has been taken down, ripped on everyone he came in contact...
wallet aorta

Vascular Converts Infected BKA Into Above-the-Nipples Amputation

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PORTLAND, OR - As a means of source control for a patient in severe sepsis, a Portland-based vascular surgeon has played it safe by converting an infected below-the-knee amputation (BKA) into an...
new medical app

Anesthesiologist Proposes Use of Metric Time

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HOUSTON, TX - Dr. Alan Payne, an anesthesiologist and physicist, proposes the use of metric time for determining surgical time duration. “How many times at your facility have you ask your surgeon for a time...
anesthesiologist hospital

Breaking News: Operating Room Finishes On-Time

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In a bizarre occurrence, the operating theatre at St Margaret’s Hospital managed to complete a full caseload without delays or running “over time.” Despite best attempts to start the day late, the anesthetist (who arrived...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization

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ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in the hospital presented to his primary care provider with a...
Da Vinci

Video Gamer Unlocks Da Vinci on Original Mortal Kombat

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Nearly 25 years after its creation, professional video gamer Prasanth Malhotra has unearthed a never-before-seen character in the original Mortal Kombat: the Da Vinci surgical robot.  According to Malhotra, to unlock Da Vinci you must slowly...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. ...
yellow isolation ballroom gown

Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning

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PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by replacing the boxy and boring isolation gowns of old with...