Wuhan Virus Lab intern drank Coronavirus vials instead of Corona beer
WUHAN, CHINA - Chinese officials just released footage that show a Wuhan Virus Lab intern pounding vial after vial of Coronavirus instead of his...
Diagnostic Win: COVID-19 Test Comes Back Positive, Negative, and Indeterminate
NEW HAVEN, CT - A patient and her inpatient medicine team at Yale Medical Center are relieved to report that her nasopharyngeal swab for...
COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide...
Match Day! Med Students Find Out Where They’ll Be Ruling-Out COVID-19 on July 1st
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Though Match Day celebrations have been canceled nationwide, that won't stop fourth-year medical students from experiencing the shear joy of finding...
COVID-19: Orthopods to Flatten the Curve with Mallets
ROSEMONT, IL - Concerned that current measures aimed at mitigating the spread of pandemic coronavirus in the United States are not aggressive enough, our...
Preserve Toilet Paper: CDC Strongly Recommends Against Defecation
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has updated its COVID-19 guidelines, stating it recommends strongly against defecation, this in...
CDC recommends Dr. Oz wear “Duct Tape Mask” to slow down false information
Atlanta, GA - CDC released new guidelines Thursday which includes a "Duct Tape Mask" for Dr. Oz to wear. "These new guidlines should...
Valiant MD Dies Climbing Up Stairs with Both N95 & Surgical Mask On
ATLANTA, GA - Beloved father, mother, son, daughter, friend, foe, and hospitalist Dr. Brent Hammersley, 46, died in heroic fashion at work today when...
Da Vinci Will Be Key in Defeating COVID-19, Says No One
CHICAGO, IL - "Da Vinci will be key in defeating COVID-19," says no one in response to the United States' current uphill battle against...
In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb
NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked...