Intergalactic Health Council Recommends Galaxies Stay at Least 6 Million Light-Years Apart
THE GALAXY OF ANDROMEDA - The nearby galaxy of Andromeda has been watching with bated breath as novel coronavirus rapidly spreads around planet Earth. No longer feeling safe at a distance...
An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Coronavirus
Globogym Headquarters, CA – All rights dudes and dudettes, this Coronavirus is treating the world the way Busch Light treats gas station toilets. So set down your bro-tein shakes and lo-carb...
Online NP Programs to Eliminate Clinical Requirements to Maximally Exploit COVID19
Austin, TX - In the past several months while the country has been undersiege from the Coronavirus, numerous political and professional groups have taken full advantage of the crisis to promote their own agendas.
COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive
BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients who tested positive for coronavirus said the phrase...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate United States of America pleading "Help me, Obi-Wan...
90% of Healthcare Workers Unaware N95 Has Eroded into Their Skull
LOS ANGELES, CA - A recent survey found that 90% of healthcare workers in the UCLA Health system were unaware that their N95 masks had partially if not completely eroded into their...
Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), recommends we all start watching Bob...
