Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients
BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and struggling to stay afloat with two interns off today, decided...
Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding
In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays penned some four years prior were, in fact, legally-binding contracts...
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in Raleigh, NC fell ill with the virus last week and...
Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday. 84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair.
“Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
Medicine Consulted for History and Physical
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa Orthopedic Department has gone "all-in." At 13:36 on Thursday, Orthopedic Surgery finally took the plunge from the on again off again relationship with Internal Medicine to a...
Breaking News! Baby Scores Perfect APGAR Scores of 10 and 10
ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is on the scene of breaking news coming out of Busch Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. Initial reports are indicating that a newborn baby girl has scored a perfect 10...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a small napkin describing relevant aspects of his 14-day course.
The ICU...
ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits
HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The new policy mimics a common Halloween tradition: leave a bowl...
Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Cons / Battery life is weak and Elmo's chest cracks easily.
The One...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the east coast after a recent FDA approval. Typically when a...
