Nurses Visit Local Jail To See What Freedom Looks Like
NEBRASKA - The nurses of University of Midwest Hospital recently visited Cook County jail to see what freedom looks like. They were shocked to...
Placenta Throw to Replace Discus at Rio Olympics
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has voted unanimously to replace Track & Field's Discus event with the Placenta Throw...
Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues
BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient.
“At...
Video Gamer Unlocks Da Vinci on Original Mortal Kombat
Nearly 25 years after its creation, professional video gamer Prasanth Malhotra has unearthed a never-before-seen character in the original Mortal Kombat: the Da Vinci surgical robot....
Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50
ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good...
Anesthesiologist, Tired of Inaccurate Surgical Time Estimates, Tells Surgeon How Much Anesthesia Time is...
BUTTE, MT - In a strange twist of fate, Dr. Amanda Sevoflurane, a practicing Anesthesiologist at Pilonidal Cyst Memorial Hospital, decided to mix things...
The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’
In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis
CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal...
Hillary Cures Insomnia with Yet Another Boring Speech
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The woefully uncharismatic Hillary Clinton has cured insomnia in all Americans with yet another boring speech, this time delivered while accepting...