Martin Shkreli

Things You Should Know About Martin Shkreli

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CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli raised the price of Daraprim, a drug used in the treatment of toxoplasmosis, from $13.50 to $750 per...
hell

Dr. Oz & Joy Behar Birth Devil Offspring, Hell is Near

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THE NINTH CIRCLE, HELL - In a frightening development, it has been reported that Dr. Oz & Joy Behar, two of television’s most reviled...

ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead

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ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...
epinephrine

Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code

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FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne.  A code blue was called overhead and...

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...
trump

If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General

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NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
nursing shift

Miss Colorado Will Only Accept Apology from “The View” Hosts After They Work a...

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Miss Colorado, Kelly Johnson RN, will only accept an apology from The View hosts, Michelle Collins and Joy Behar after they have worked and survived...
nurse stethoscope

Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to ‘The View’

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NEW YORK, NY - "Why didn’t we think of that?" was the overwhelming question asked today by executives at Littmann, a company that produces...
medical zodiac

The 12 Symptoms of the Medical Zodiac‏

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Do you remember your constellations, in particular the 12 symptoms of the medical zodiac?  Bust out your telescopes, find your closest clear night sky,...
pens

Nurses, Doctors on Pace to Lose Over 1 Trillion Pens in 2015

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CHICAGO, IL - In a study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Penmanship (NEJP), researchers have found that healthcare...