Medical Scribe to Subspecialize in Verbs
NORFOLK, VA - In her few years as a medical scribe, Kacey Agnarsson has observed how health care is getting more specialized with each passing minute. Inspired, Agnarsson has decided to leave her post...
Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap
ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first and last tubes, the so-called "champagne tap," continues in failure...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of pain medication.
"I always thought having more pain than you could...
Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a 45% reduction in overnight stays of gastro patients and a...
Intern Places Wrong IO Access, Gets Intraocular Access by Mistake
AUSTIN, TX - In yet another case of medical “whoops-a-daisy” late last night, intern Alex Franklin mistook his supervising resident’s order to obtain emergency IO access during a cardiopulmonary arrest for intraocular access, and...
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a full-fledge shootout involving "shotguns and pistols" between the Atlanta Falcons...
Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough. A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason Johnson to court, suing him for pain & suffering.
“I can’t...
U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate United States of America pleading "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare practitioners have always known but have failed to prove until...
Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has officially confirmed with Gomerblog that the "situation is serious" and...