Emergency Medicine

Level 1 Drama Algorithm for the Emergency Department

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We have all been there when a Level 1 Drama call comes through the doors.  New evidence has led to the creation of a...
ed triage

Texting on Cell Phone During ED Triage Correlated with Improved Patient Outcomes

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CLEVELAND, OH - A recent multi-center observational trial involving several EDs in Cleveland have demonstrated that texting on one’s cell phone during an initial ED...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
injection

New Narcan Reversal Agent, NarCANT, Hits the Market

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CHICAGO, IL - After years of having their days ruined by jackwad paramedics and God-complexed ER nurses, opioid addicts everywhere rejoiced today at the...
Facebook, OD

Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone.  Her roommate,...
end of life care

ZDoggMD: “Ain’t the Way to Die”

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End of life care.  We need to talk about it more... From ZDoggMD: "Need help breaking the ice?  Here’s Ain’t The Way To Die, based on the...
doctor shortage

Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
tightrope walker

Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit

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KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...