45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years. She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
Dermabond Repackages for a Sexier Product
Dermabond, a skin glue widely used for surgical skin closure, has had a recent falloff in use as hospitals push cost-conscious practices. In response,...
Emergency Medicine Attending Admits Patient Without Resident Assistance
Dr. Ellie Goodmedicine, an attending physician in the Department of Emergency Medicine at New York City Hospital, stunned the department’s residency program by admitting...
Antibiotic Cures Common Cold Virus
PHOENIX, AZ - Doctors in Arizona have discovered a revolutionary cure to the common cold. On October 1, John Sniffles entered the emergency department at...
Frustrated ED Doc ‘Goes Nuclear,’ Admits Patient to Administration
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing unprecedented obstruction getting his patient admitted to the hospital and decompressing his overburdened emergency department (ED), local ED physician, Dr....
Hospital Audited for Not Inputting Patient Height into EMR During Code
LAS CRUCES, NM - Red Rock Hospital recently came under fire when one of their resident physicians neglected to input a patient’s height during a...
New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...