U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”
TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
Emergency Medicine Society Recommends a Rectal Exam to Rule-Out Back Pain
CLEVELAND, OH – New 2016 guidelines on diagnosing pain in the emergency department were released last month and already US hospitals are seeing the...
ChooseMyPlate.gov Updates Plate Portions for Nurses, Docs
WASHINGTON, DC - The USDA website ChooseMyPlate.gov has updated its plate for all hospital personnel to remind them that while finding your healthy eating...
STAT Officially Means “Maybe”
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...
COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack
NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief...
Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients
HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018. Argus...
Veterans Affairs Honors Veterans with New Mega Motrin Pills
WASHINGTON, DC - Motrin has long been the cornerstone of treatment for any medical ailment of Active Duty Service Members and Veterans for decades. ...
Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival
BOCA RATON, FL - Patient rights advocates from sea to shining sea are giving high compliments to Madre De Díos Medical Center for its...
Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices. Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...
Woman with a Cold Thoroughly Fills Out ED Comment Card
ST. LOUIS, MO - Mandy Tremboll, a suburbanite fighter for justice with absolutely no situational awareness, had the audacity to fill out a comment card...