Life Savers

True to Its Name: Life Savers Prevented 3 Million Deaths in 2017

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CLEVELAND, OH - A survey conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) has gotten everyone's attention as it revealed that Life Savers hard...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of...

Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas

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CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

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KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...
confident physician

E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”

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A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...
nurse crime scene

Tragedy at St. Mary’s Hospital as Nurse Tries to Eat Another Nurse

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ALBANY, NY – Police are currently on the scene at St. Mary’s Hospital as reports are streaming in regarding a story that is as...
emergency medicine physician

Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...

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JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
Delta WiFi bicarb

SOL: In-Flight Emergency Medical Kit Just Contains Bicarb

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DELTA 1342 - Well, I hate to break this news to you, especially since you were just so nice enough to volunteer and help...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...