Emergency Medicine

doctor upset

Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”

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TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge...
doctor in er

Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a brilliant collaboration by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and nearly every medical professional organization in the United States, health...
ativan diffuser

The Makers of the Ativan Diffuser Announce Ground Breaking New Product

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Capitalizing on their previous success throughout the healthcare world by the H-Vape 86, the makers of the Ativan Diffuser have begun selling their new...
red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

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PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options...

Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients

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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year.  This year was diplopia.  People were loving it.  The people who weren’t falling...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
etoh levels

Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...
hospital emergency room boarding

ER Doc Sent to Penalty Box, Gets 5 Minutes for Boarding

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Just when things in the emergency room (ER) couldn't get any worse with influenza A in full swing, all 435 beds...