Emergency Medicine

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We...
prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...

The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission

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The Rübler-Koss model or 7 stages of grief is a series of emotional stages an admitting attending experiences when faced with an impending admission....
rich historian

Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever

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PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...
navy ship

Newly’Appointed ‘Ebola Czar’ Quarantines Entire Navy After Learning Ebola Can Be Transmitted by Semen

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold first move since his recent appointment by President Obama as “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain will quarantine the entire U.S....
emergency physician

7 Phrases That Make an Emergency Medicine Resident Want to End It All

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1) So what specialty are you going into after residency? Emergency medicine.  How do you not get this?  That’s why I’m here seeing you in...
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...
mrsa spider

Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large

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GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South. Earl Wayne...