FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant.
“When I spiked a fever and saw red...
Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
New “Eject” Button Expedites ED Discharges
HARTFORD, CT - In a stunning combination of social work finesse and aeronautical engineering, one local hospital’s ED has patented the first "Eject" button...
Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List
METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized...
Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
FDA Bans Any Narcotic with the Letter ‘D’ In It
ATLANTA, GA - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) finally came to its senses today by agreeing to ban any narcotic that contains the...