Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit
KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...
Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis
SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today. While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...
Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
ABSTRACT
Given the increased proliferation of multidrug resistant (MDR) microorganisms, it is considered standard of care to use patient-dedicated, disposable, or “crappy” stethoscopes to prevent...
Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices. Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...
Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger
MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to...
Doctor Accidentally Heals Fibromyalgia
For years, Dr. Suda Nim had expressed frustration over his patients who came to the Emergency Department with a chief complaint of a fibromyalgia flare.
"Every...
Texting on Cell Phone During ED Triage Correlated with Improved Patient Outcomes
CLEVELAND, OH - A recent multi-center observational trial involving several EDs in Cleveland have demonstrated that texting on one’s cell phone during an initial ED...
Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South.
Earl Wayne...
Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale
SAN DIEGO, CA - According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency. Effective Jan....
This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service
Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind
Hi. I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this...