Emergency Medicine

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The...
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Veterans Affairs Honors Veterans with New Mega Motrin Pills

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WASHINGTON, DC - Motrin has long been the cornerstone of treatment for any medical ailment of Active Duty Service Members and Veterans for decades. ...
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Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
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E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”

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A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...
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New Code Potassium Repletion Team to Revolutionize Inpatient Care

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NASHVILLE, TN - Health care professionals will tell you if there is one epidemic that deserves greater attention than the opioid and obesity epidemics...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses...

PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia

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PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
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After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED

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Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history.  Thousands of men,...

Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool

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MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...

Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas

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CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...