Emergency Medicine

woman with common cold

Woman with a Cold Thoroughly Fills Out ED Comment Card

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Mandy Tremboll, a suburbanite fighter for justice with absolutely no situational awareness, had the audacity to fill out a comment card...
Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...

Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack

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Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea.  In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such...

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...
drama queen

A Patient Wins Oscar in the Category of Best Drama Queen

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Ms. Have It All, a frequent flyer at Lord Have Mercy Hospital, was going through a rollercoaster ride of emotions while receiving an Oscar...
glove compartment syndrome

Breaking: Buick Undergoes Surgery for Glove Compartment Syndrome

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ATLANTA, GA - Stuffed to the gill with unpaid parking tickets and losing Lotto tickets, a Buick in the hospital parking lot is undergoing...
natural dilaudid spring

Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets

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GRINDELWALD, SWITZERLAND - A quaint Swiss town is experiencing the first wave of what is sure to be an epic boom in tourism this...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...