Emergency Medicine

True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass‏

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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has...

Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven

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VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead...
The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer

CNN Announces New Show: The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer

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ATLANTA, GA - "Happening now, we want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world.  I'm Wolf Blitzer, and you're...
woman gives up facebook

Breaking: Facebook Placed on Pressors to Fix Plummeting Stocks

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MENLO PARK, CA - With its stock value plummeting precipitously in the past 48 hours, Facebook has been started on pressors with lactated ringers...

Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers

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HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...

Tips: How to Be the Coolest Doctor on the Block

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Over the past few months at GomerBlog, we've received thousands upon thousands of letters from doctors all over the world asking us how they...
bacon flavored tube

Bacon-Laced Gastric Lavage Tubes a Big Hit for Patients

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LAS VEGAS, NV – Maker of orogastric, nasogastric, and gastric lavage tubes, Medical Stuff, unveiled a new product line last week that is predicted to...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
patient

Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation

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LAS VEGAS, NV - In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada geriatric nursing facility run by neonatologist-turned-geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds, has begun...

Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients

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“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...