Emergency Medicine

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

0
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

0
  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...
north korea hackers

North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid

50
WASHINGTON, DC - The White House has announced that North Korea has successfully hacked yet another electronic staple of American life – the drug-dispensing Pyxis...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

5
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

0
GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now...
transporting patient

Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up

0
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

1
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

0
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

0
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

0
  . . . . . . . .   . . . . . . . . .     . . . . . . . . .     . . . . . . . . .     . . . . . . . . .     . . . . . .