Emergency Medicine

heavy metal

Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia

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DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line...
chapped lips hot mess express

All Aboard! Next Stop on the Hot Mess Express: ICU City!

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ER STATION - All aboard! Health care professionals, have your tickets and IDs in hand as you get ready to step aboard the...
Turlaudidryl, BDT

Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
doctor calling consult

Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult

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MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants. "It's simple," she explains. "We give...
nice patient endangered species

Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients

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HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018.  Argus...
hospital specials

Emergency Department Offers Daily Specials: Revenue Skyrocketing

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RALEIGH, NC - The competitive and creative business of healthcare and medical treatment has suffered in the US due to the unsustainable and skyrocketing...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...

ER Doctor Lost in Space-Time Continuum After Switching From Day Shifts to Nights Then...

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In an unfortunate event last month Dr. Emmert Gencey, a new 29-year-old ER doc, became lost in the space-time continuum for...
hospital credentialing

Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital

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When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience...
pope francis blessing

Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?

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Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States.  However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...