Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...
WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm. “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition
OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact
ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...
Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’
ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
Frequent Fliers Hired to Evaluate Emergency Medicine Residents
ST. PAUL, MN - Responding to feedback that existing resident assessments were not properly evaluating the attendings of tomorrow in how they adapt to important...
North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
WASHINGTON, DC - The White House has announced that North Korea has successfully hacked yet another electronic staple of American life – the drug-dispensing Pyxis...
Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room
British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...