Emergency Medicine

chest pain

No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent

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ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is...
emergency physician

7 Phrases That Make an Emergency Medicine Resident Want to End It All

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1) So what specialty are you going into after residency? Emergency medicine.  How do you not get this?  That’s why I’m here seeing you in...

Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers

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HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...
diabetic coma

Cookie Monster in Critical Condition Due to Diabetic Complications

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SESAME STREET - Children around the world awoke from sleepy-time to the stunning news that Cookie Monster is battling for his life in the intensive...

Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day

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KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy.  He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy."  Like most medical...
electricty

Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars

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NORTH CAROLINA - Doctors and nurses are seeing unprecedented highs in morale and productivity three weeks after Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo Hospital installed...
rollercoaster

Local ED to Offer Six Flags-Inspired ‘Flash Passes’ to Skip Long Lines

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GRAIN VALLEY, MO – In an attempt to boost revenue and cut waiting times, a local Missouri emergency department is beta testing a program...
hospital staff meeting

Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale

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COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
turkey in code cart

Breaking: Study Finds Efficacy of Turkey Sandwiches in Convincing ED patients to Discharge AMA...

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In what is being called a major wake-up call for the Emergency Medicine community, a groundbreaking study published in The Washington Journal of Emergency...

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into...