Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery.
“It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service
Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind
Hi. I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this...
Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Code Blue Also Code Brown
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
Pez Introduces New Pocket Percocet Dispenser
EAST ORANGE, NJ - The Pez candy company announced its first upgraded dispenser design in decades last week, as the candymaker looks to tap...
Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients.
Like...
Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company
I am an emergent see room dock door. I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...
Gomerblog Inspires Emergency Medicine Residents to Solve COVID-19 Mask Shortage Crisis
PROVIDENCE, RI - Due to mask shortages reported across the country, hospital staff at prominent New England hospitals have been asked to conserve normally...