Emergency Medicine

Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves

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GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
DRUNKbnb

Airbnb Introduces DRUNKbnb, ER Lodging for Drunks

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In an effort to expand into the health care sector, Airbnb is now offering drunk people exam rooms for rent...

Eastern Medicine Inspired Stroke Protocol Saves Millions in Health Care Costs, Improves Patient Satisfaction...

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PORTLAND, OR - A cerebral vascular accident, commonly known as a stroke, is a devastating diagnosis that frequently results in long-term disability and death.  Many...

Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun

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The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
emergency department

Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use

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ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide...

KevinMD Rescues Burned-Out Physician from Tree

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ATLANTA, GA - Kevin Pho, or better known as KevinMD, rescued another burned-out physician from a tree Saturday.  Here's why. "I was so burned out,...

Patient Awarded for Most ER Visits in 2015

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JACHO, TX - Mr. Jeremy Grimes entered Memorial Hospital ER in the waning hours of New Years Eve like he had done 93 times...
Paramedics

Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again

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NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift.  One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in...