Emergency Medicine

EM Doctor

Indecisive ER Doctor Still Hasn’t Chosen Specialty

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TAMPA, FL - Dr. Bradley Smith has done it all. As an expert in septic shock, trauma, and cardiac resuscitation, he has an impressive...

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...

ER Doc Closes Papercut with 14 Stitches to Protect Gang Member’s Street Cred

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Los Angeles, CA- Jose “Mierda Verde” Sinhuevos is one of the most feared member of the West Hollywood Nacho Libre Street gang. Last week while...

The Most Interesting Patient in the World

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Humana pays him a co-insurance to go to the ER. His in-network coverage follows him wherever he goes. He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies. He...
sh*tty consult

A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...

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1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
ninja in er

Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise

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“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there.  It is...