Emergency Medicine

doctor in er

Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a brilliant collaboration by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and nearly every medical professional organization in the United States, health...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness

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According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware...
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...
superbacteria

Dr. Mark Plaster to Battle New Super Bacteria in Maryland

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ANNAPOLIS, MD - The CDC is warning the public that a new super bacteria has been identified in Maryland that is resistant to every...
Barolo tap

Intern Fails at Champagne Tap, More Like Barolo Tap

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ATLANTA, GA - Internal medicine intern Timothy McDuffy's quest to perform a lumbar puncture (LP) in which there are zero RBCs in the first...
emergency room

Emergency Department Staff Shocked by Prior Authorization Request

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CHADRON, NE - Emergency room physician assistant Chester Preshuns was shocked last Thursday afternoon during transport of his STEMI patient to a cardiac/cath lab...
patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...

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TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...

Local Hospital Goes Green, Begins Tattooing ID Bracelets on Frequent Flyers to Limit Paper...

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a move lauded by environmental groups and advocates for patient safety, local health system St. Indignant’s rolled out a...
physician kiosk

EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks‏

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COLUMBUS, OH -  In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or...