Emergency Medicine

cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

19
NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
ambulance

Patient Learns She Can Come to ER Without Calling an Ambulance

0
LEXINGTON, KY - Sarah Johnson was recently seen at County Hospital's Emergency Department for the fourteenth time this year for an itchy rash on...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

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CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
doctors and nurses rate patients

Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation

5
WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
chest pain rule out toy elephant

Chest Pain Rule-Out: Patient with Stuffed Elephant Sitting on Chest

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DANBURY, CT - A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed...

To Capture More Cardiology Viewers, Jake Tapper Renames Show to “The 12-Lead”

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ATLANTA, GA - In an attempt to attract a higher percentage of the much-desired cardiology demographic, producers and the host of "The Lead" Jake Tapper have...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

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BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...