Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”
STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical."
He confided...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Overdose Victim Mutters ‘Don’t Give Me Narcan’ as Medics Arrive on the Scene
SEATTLE, WA - Emergency medical services (EMS) told reporters yesterday that they received another call to Ned Smith’s residence, a local ER frequent flyer, after neighbors...
Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...
JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request...
Las Vegas Hospital Expands into Luxury Resort and Casino
LAS VEGAS, NV - In a bold new plan to increase hospital revenue streams, hospital administrators at Las Vegas Medical Center have teamed up with...
Local Trauma Centers Overwhelmed Following Mario Kart Pile Up on Rainbow Road
MARIO CIRCUIT, WII - Nearby trauma centers struggled to effectively administer life-saving treatment to the victims of a gruesome pileup on Rainbow Road. The accident resulted...
ACEP Rolls Out New ‘Category 6’ Triage Designation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hot off the heels of the latest national conference, ACEP leadership unveiled a plan to help crowded Emergency Rooms across the...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
14 More Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician
If the advice given to you on the previous list of 15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician was not sufficient to achieve...