E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”
A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address
GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary.
Hospitals now...
Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th
NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...
ACEP Renames Black Friday ‘Black & Blue Friday’
IRVING, TX - Recognizing Black Friday not as the first day of the holiday shopping season but as a day to "kill each other...
Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Tired of Waiting, Patient Develops “Chest Pain” in ER
ARLINGTON, VA – 32-year-old patient George Hightower rolled his ankle playing basketball this Saturday afternoon. He went to the ER only after much persuasion from friends to...
Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...
Intern Places Wrong IO Access, Gets Intraocular Access by Mistake
AUSTIN, TX - In yet another case of medical “whoops-a-daisy” late last night, intern Alex Franklin mistook his supervising resident’s order to obtain emergency...
Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...