Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!
The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients.
An objective rating...
Antibiotic Cures Common Cold Virus
PHOENIX, AZ - Doctors in Arizona have discovered a revolutionary cure to the common cold. On October 1, John Sniffles entered the emergency department at...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!" Don was passed over for hours...
GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind
LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans
ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins. Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers
HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
New Program Teaches Patients to Drug-Seek More Cost-Effectively
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) under a new Congressional mandate to design programs to cut costs and reduce...
ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out
NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...