So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next
It happens all the time. You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...
STAT Officially Means “Maybe”
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Ever wonder why your 8 AM stat blood draw hasn’t been done even though it’s now 7 PM the next day? ...
BMI Classification Replaces Word “Obesity” with “American”
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The World Health Organization (WHO) has revised its BMI (body mass index) classification system, a simple and widely used method for...
Health System Approves New Priority Level for Radiology Exams: ‘Insanity Stat’
BOSTON, MA - New England-based hospital system GinormaHealth announced Tuesday that effective August 1st a new priority system would be in effect for all...
Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital
When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience...
Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...
WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm. “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves. Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
Hospital Coupons for Upcoming Black Friday Sale
With insurance companies tightening up their wallets and competition for patients heating up with the cross town rival, Kind Humanitarian Hospital Administrators had to...
Bacon-Laced Gastric Lavage Tubes a Big Hit for Patients
LAS VEGAS, NV – Maker of orogastric, nasogastric, and gastric lavage tubes, Medical Stuff, unveiled a new product line last week that is predicted to...
Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...