‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’
BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...
TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead
ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in...
Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website
BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism
NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has...
Nurses, Doctors Fight Back with New Health Care Practitioner Satisfaction Surveys
NEW YORK, NY - Sick and tired of the unfair nature of patient satisfaction surveys that puts service above disease management, a multidisciplinary team...
Intern Singing Bee Gees During Code
What began as a routine code on the dialysis unit turned euphonic this past Wednesday morning after new intern Rob Eide began audibly singing...