Emergency Medicine

Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm

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DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

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NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...

High Patient Satisfaction Scores, Key Elements for Success

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Over 23,000 hospital patients were polled to help determine what factors are considered important for patients when it comes to their satisfaction at hospitals.  Knowing...
zdoggmd

‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently.  Diagnosis: Butthurt.  That’s right, butthurt...

A “Thrilling” Halloween Consult

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It's close to midnight Emerg docs keep lurking in the dark Under the moonlight Their eyes catch you and almost stop your heart You try to scream But the...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had...
John Doe

Breaking: Turns Out the Patient’s Name Really is John Doe

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NASHVILLE, TN - Well, it was bound to happen one day: members of the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Vanderbilt University have realized...

ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers

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SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked.  Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...