Emergency Medicine

‘I’ve Never Met a Pupil That Wasn’t ERRLA’ by Emergency Physician Paul O’Connor

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I’ve been doing this job for almost 30 years, and let me tell you, never in my professional career have I ever met a...
monkeys jumping on the bed

After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’

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BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down.  "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

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ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...
EM Doctor

Indecisive ER Doctor Still Hasn’t Chosen Specialty

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TAMPA, FL - Dr. Bradley Smith has done it all. As an expert in septic shock, trauma, and cardiac resuscitation, he has an impressive...

Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...

Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack

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Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea.  In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such...

Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
toliet flushing medications

NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively

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BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

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BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
reward stickers

Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum

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CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system,...