Emergency Medicine

snack cart

Hospital Replaces Crash Carts with Snack Carts

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MARIETTA, GA – Goodbye defibrillators and hello Swedish Fish!  In a rare display of unity, hospital administrators and health care personnel at Marietta Medical...
hospital staff meeting

Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale

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COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
airplane

“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges

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ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...

Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough.  A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason...

ER Catchphrases Guaranteed to Get Consultants to Come into the ER

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LAS VEGAS, NV – Last Friday was the conclusion of the 18th annual meeting of the High-rolling Emergency Medicine Physicians (HEMP) association. Aside from...

Local Hospital Goes Green, Begins Tattooing ID Bracelets on Frequent Flyers to Limit Paper...

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a move lauded by environmental groups and advocates for patient safety, local health system St. Indignant’s rolled out a...
wristbands

Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients. Like...

Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10."  Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER...