Emergency Medicine

dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

104
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

0
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...
easter egg hunt human orifices

Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt

27
BALDWIN, NY - The Easter Dilaudid Hunt at Baldwin Medical Center (BMC) is going all out.  This weekend, 30,000 drug seekers are expected to...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

0
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...

Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day

0
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy.  He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy."  Like most medical...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

0
Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
EM Doctor

Indecisive ER Doctor Still Hasn’t Chosen Specialty

0
TAMPA, FL - Dr. Bradley Smith has done it all. As an expert in septic shock, trauma, and cardiac resuscitation, he has an impressive...

Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes

0
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK!  Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre? Cons / You...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

0
GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now...