Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander...
So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next
It happens all the time. You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...
E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”
A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing...
Patient Successfully Makes Appointment for the ED
LONG BEACH, CA – Nancy J. is well known to the local Emergency Department at St. Joseph, a community hospital in LA County. The...
Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas
CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off...
ER Doc Sent to Penalty Box, Gets 5 Minutes for Boarding
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Just when things in the emergency room (ER) couldn't get any worse with influenza A in full swing, all 435 beds...
Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts
MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years. She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix
BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning.
"You...
Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
Bed-Bound, Demented 89-Year-Old Successfully Resuscitated, Discharged to Wallow in Own Excrement at Nursing Home
GREENSBORO, NC - A team of physicians, nurses, and support staff is being lauded for its efforts in saving the life of Jasper Billings,...