Emergency Medicine

confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

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A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
Fireworks

Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th

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NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...
United Airlines endotracheal tube

United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes

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CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing...
Superman Kryptonite subclavian steal

Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List

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METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized...

U.S. on COVID-19: “Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope”

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TATOOINE - While cleaning his new R2-D2 droid after purchasing them from the Jawas, Luke Skywalker accidentally triggered a holographic recording of a desperate...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Know Your Hospital Diets

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It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...

New Program Teaches Patients to Drug-Seek More Cost-Effectively

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) under a new Congressional mandate to design programs to cut costs and reduce...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...