Emergency Medicine

navy ship

Newly’Appointed ‘Ebola Czar’ Quarantines Entire Navy After Learning Ebola Can Be Transmitted by Semen

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a bold first move since his recent appointment by President Obama as “Ebola Czar,” Ron Klain will quarantine the entire U.S....
medical students at starbucks

Medical Students Excited to Volunteer for Studies of Ebola Transmission

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SACRAMENTO, CA - In the wake of the CDC’s announcement that we still do not fully understand exactly how the Ebola virus is transmitted, several...
icu vs ER

ICU Team Happy to Have ER Resident Rotating in ICU

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HOUSTON, TX - The ICU team at Sarcasm General expressed unlimited joy when they learned that the hotshot ER residents would start rotating with...
Methadone drone

Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
Paramedics

Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again

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NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift.  One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in...

Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest

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BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
rolling dice

Triage Nurse Rolls Dice to Determine Patient Priority Level‏

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Mercy Regional Hospital ER's newest RN Heidi Evans has been having a rough start to her career at the triage desk, where her job...
Mannequin Challenge

Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...