Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
New Program Teaches Patients to Drug-Seek More Cost-Effectively
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) under a new Congressional mandate to design programs to cut costs and reduce...
The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission
The Rübler-Koss model or 7 stages of grief is a series of emotional stages an admitting attending experiences when faced with an impending admission....
Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind
LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...
Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival
BOCA RATON, FL - Patient rights advocates from sea to shining sea are giving high compliments to Madre De Díos Medical Center for its...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In a brilliant new campaign to improve patient satisfaction scores at the expense of appropriate medical care, hospital administrators and...
Patient’s Reflexes Documented in Medical Record, Perplexed Medical Student Didn’t See Examination
DENVER, CO – Third-year medical student, Samantha Mullerton, is rotating through the Memorial Hospital emergency room as part of her clinical rotations. She recently called...