Emergency Medicine

cookie cutter medicine

Canadian Medical Association Creates Clinical Decision Rules on When to Use Clinical Decision Rules

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ALBERTA, CANADA - After the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Medical Association this summer, a majority motion is pushing a new initiative to...

Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR

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SAN ANTONIO, TX -  Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...
dyspnea

FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
doctor in white coat

Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat

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ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands.  To further push the psychological...
rectal exam glove

Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks

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MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy.  The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...

All Caught Up with Game of Thrones, Local Man Finally Decides He Should Get...

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ROANOKE, VA - Upon finishing Game of Thrones Season 3 at 2 AM, local man Charles Cerioli decided it would be a good time to visit...
intox in the er

NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show...

Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine

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KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in.  Millions of...
emergency room

ACEP Rolls Out New ‘Category 6’ Triage Designation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hot off the heels of the latest national conference, ACEP leadership unveiled a plan to help crowded Emergency Rooms across the...