73 miles per hour

New Code Potassium Repletion Team to Revolutionize Inpatient Care

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NASHVILLE, TN - Health care professionals will tell you if there is one epidemic that deserves greater attention than the opioid and obesity epidemics...

Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help

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NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...
Tim Penn medical scribe

Medical Scribe Gets Doctor to Take Notes, Shifting the Balance of Power

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AUGUSTA, GA - In a striking new development in the world of medical documentation, emergency room physician Arthur Gates admits to still being in a...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...

Inventor of “Dimaudid” Takes Company Public, Makes Billions

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NEW YORK, NY - An attending physician of emergency medicine at New York City Hospital recently took her private pharmaceutical company public, making a...
er medical charts

Med Student Rotating in ER Always Seems to Pick Up a Chart Requiring a...

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DETROIT, MI - Third-year medical student Ronny Wilkerson can’t believe the number of pelvic exams that he is performing on his clinical rotation in...

Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose

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ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
Wonder Woman bracelets

Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...

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THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear...
doctor in white coat

Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat

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ST. LOUIS, MO – Military training regardless of service branch has been known for its physical and mental demands.  To further push the psychological...