Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Health System Approves New Priority Level for Radiology Exams: ‘Insanity Stat’
BOSTON, MA - New England-based hospital system GinormaHealth announced Tuesday that effective August 1st a new priority system would be in effect for all...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
By Popular Overdose Demand: Activated Charcoal Smoothie at Your Local ER
HARTFORD, CT - Get those Press-Ganey scores up with the new Activated Charcoal Smoothie! With the number of intentional and unintentional overdoses skyrocketing across...
Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...
Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER
CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...
Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room
British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
Residents No Longer Matched According to Last Name/Specialty Pun
The National Residency Match Program (NRMP) is planning a small update in their mystical computer algorithms which will erase one of US healthcare's greatest...
Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media
Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain. He...
The Surviving BS Campaign: Early Detection of BS in the ED
ST. LOUIS, MO - A groundbreaking new multicenter study shows that early detection of BS in the ED leads to significant overall improvement in patient...