After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED
Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history. Thousands of men,...
New Program Teaches Patients to Drug-Seek More Cost-Effectively
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) under a new Congressional mandate to design programs to cut costs and reduce...
Nevada Nursing Facility Pioneering Breast-To-Mouth (B2M) Resuscitation
LAS VEGAS, NV - In the wake of bundled Medicare payments, a Nevada geriatric nursing facility run by neonatologist-turned-geriatrician, Dr. Hugh Mounds, has begun...
New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...
Genuine ‘Slipped and Fell’ Rectal Foreign Body Victim Stuns Experts
RICHMOND, VA - In what is thought to be a world's first, witnesses have confirmed that a young Virginian man genuinely slipped and fell...
ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out
NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation
WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service
Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind
Hi. I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this...
Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume
HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...