Emergency Medicine

ER

Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid

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DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a...
fart, CNN, Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: Fart of the Century Kills 50

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ATLANTA, GA - In unsettling news from Atlanta University Hospital today, patient Timothy Flatus unleashed a fart at 9:45 PM last night so powerful...
eternal life

New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...

Bronco Products Announces the New and Revolutionary Perco-Later

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RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. announces the recent FDA UL approved and patented Perco-later Percocet recovery device.  The Perco-later is a revolutionary new...
73 miles per hour

Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...
Super Bowl LI shootout

Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout

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HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR)...
gout

Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Confetti is raining down from the ceilings as emergency medicine physician Deion Gnosis is being congratulated for diagnosing and...
ninja in er

Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise

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“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there.  It is...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...