Emergency Medicine

ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

0
Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app...

ER Doc Closes Papercut with 14 Stitches to Protect Gang Member’s Street Cred

0
Los Angeles, CA- Jose “Mierda Verde” Sinhuevos is one of the most feared member of the West Hollywood Nacho Libre Street gang. Last week while...
alternative medicine

Ask Alternative Medicine Doctors About Ebola

6
Complimentary and alternative medicine roundtable: Each installment of this section, we invite our readers to send us questions that are pertinent to their health,...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

0
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

35
NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
bed control

Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
intern thumb sucking

July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb

0
ROCKFORD, IL - Fresh-faced July intern Becky Anderson proved to be the most crucial health care provider present during a cardiopulmonary arrest called at...

Game of Thrones HMOs Going Bankrupt

2
KINGS LANDING, WESTERNOS - Following a three-year onslaught of unexpected increases in operating cost, all five major health maintenance organization (HMO) companies serving the Seven...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

0
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
U.S. economy crashes ICU

Breaking: U.S. Economy Crashes, Transferred to ICU

0
NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog has learned that the U.S. economy is crashing and is no longer stable for the medical floor.  It has...