New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...
ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked. Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...
Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign,...
ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out
NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...
Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals. The fact...
Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
Constipation is an Admitting Diagnosis Apparently
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital was horrified to find out the very troubling news that one of their...
Patient Admitted with Facebook Overdose
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Alice Wilkinson was admitted last night after she was found down by her roommate, convulsing next to her smartphone. Her roommate,...
Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix
BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning.
"You...
Canadian Medical Association Creates Clinical Decision Rules on When to Use Clinical Decision Rules
ALBERTA, CANADA - After the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Medical Association this summer, a majority motion is pushing a new initiative to...