Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum
CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system,...
Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks
MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy. The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...
Radiologist Adds Arrow Signs To Group Tinder Photos
Dr. David Strand, a practicing radiologist for 10 years, has recently expanded his 40 hour workweek by helping dating hopefuls navigate the popular dating...
Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...
What Are Health Care Professionals Giving Up for Lent (By Specialty)?
General Surgeon: Evidence-based medicine. “Oh, your tummy hurts? Well, let’s open you up and take a look, shall we?”
Emergency Medicine: Dilaudid. The screams will...