Emergency Medicine

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

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Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
physician kiosk

EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks‏

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COLUMBUS, OH -  In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...
C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

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BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You...
matt lauer er switch

ER Installs ‘Reverse Matt Lauer’ Switches to Lock Drugseekers Out

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NEW YORK, NY – Inspired by the Today Show’s Matt Lauer’s desk switch that locked his door entrapping his victims, Emergency Room’s across the...

Daredevil Patient on Bed Jumps Through Ring of Fire

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Patient Brian McDowell put on a show for the ages, as he became the first patient on a hospital bed to...
driving to ED

Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel...
screaming in ED

ED Study Links Volume of Screaming to Patient’s Level of Pain

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SAN ANTONIO, TX - In a landmark study published in this month's Annals of Emergency Medicine, researchers from an emergency department in Sarasota, Florida have found evidence...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...