Monday, November 30, 2020

Emergency Medicine

Constipation is an Admitting Diagnosis Apparently

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NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital was horrified to find out the very troubling news that one of their new patients, 36-year-old Alan Bassen, was admitted last night for...

Patient Awarded for Most ER Visits in 2015

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JACHO, TX - Mr. Jeremy Grimes entered Memorial Hospital ER in the waning hours of New Years Eve like he had done 93 times before in 2015.  The only difference this time was a...
doctor

Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker

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Chief Complaint: Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain. History of Present Illness: This is a really, really annoying patient with a given age and sex presenting with an acute exacerbation of a...
intox in the er

NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show called “INTOX” at 9 PM EST.  Critics are already calling...

Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days, the staff gets worried that he may be actually sick...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results.  "This is truly remarkable," said medical expert Dr. Tom Hutch....
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

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GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now have the highest patient satisfaction in the history of healthcare...
hoverboard injuries

After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED

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Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history.  Thousands of men, women and children have evaded their rooms after hovering through...
snack cart

Hospital Replaces Crash Carts with Snack Carts

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MARIETTA, GA – Goodbye defibrillators and hello Swedish Fish!  In a rare display of unity, hospital administrators and health care personnel at Marietta Medical Center have unanimously decided to replace crash carts with snack...