Emergency Medicine

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...
doctor

Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker

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Chief Complaint: Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain. History of Present Illness: This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours...

COVID-19: ER Doc Relieved Man in Room 9 Just Having a Heart Attack

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NEW YORK, NY—Overwhelmed with hordes of COVID-19 patients filling the Emergency Department at Manhattan Medical Center, third-year resident, Dr. Noah Moe Karona, expressed relief...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...
social media

Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media

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Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain.  He...
couple kissing

Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty

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GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty?  Here goes! Allergy “I like it when you...
C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

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BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You...

Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day

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KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy.  He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy."  Like most medical...
opioid use

American Academy of Drug Seekers Releases 2016 ED Pain Management Guidelines

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BALTIMORE, MD - Acknowledging that the nationwide effort to reduce opiate abuse in the ED has led to dangerous levels of undertreatment among their...