Emergency Medicine

septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

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GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now...
Mr. Peanut

Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been...
cpr

Code Blue Also Code Brown

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NEW YORK, NY – According to multiple sources in attendance at, or rapidly emerging from, the cardiopulmonary resuscitation currently underway in room 1214, the...
physician kiosk

EM Physicians Replaced by Self-Service Kiosks‏

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COLUMBUS, OH -  In a recent move aimed at curbing health care costs and improving patient satisfaction, Northland Hospital has installed self-service kiosks in their...
EMS

EMS Company Offers Subscription-Based Service

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Accessible Ambulance, a local EMS company, will soon roll out a new way to provide care for the greater Indianapolis community...
upset patients

Patient Leaves AMA to ‘Teach Them a Lesson!’

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HARTFORD, CT - Local man Robert Smith recently posted a scathing rebuke of Hartford County Hospital's Emergency Department after an excruciating 3-hour wait in...
patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...

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TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...

ED Consults Vascular Surgery for “Pulseless Foot” on a Pulseless Human

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Saint Louis, MO - Mr. James Rice originally presented to the John L. McClellan Memorial Veterans Hospital in Saint Louis with shortness of breath...
routine ECG

Local EKG Tech Reassigned Due to Voluptuous Breasts

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MIAMI, FL – EKG tech Candi Jacobs has been working at Mercy Hospital for two years.  She was recently reassigned; hospital administration stated the...