New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
Hospital Hires Wolfgang Puck to Design Turkey Sandwiches for ED Lunch Trays
DALLAS, TX – DOA Hospital group in Frisco, Texas unveiled a new initiative in partnership with Wolfgang Puck to provide "therapeutic gastronomy" for ED...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses...
True Allergy Detector, Maling-o-Vision, Now Available for Google Glass
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In response to an unprecedented epidemic of claimed non-narcotic pain medication allergies among patients with chronic pain conditions, Google has...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
Gomer To Be Discharged From Medical Floor Soon As ER Bed Opens Up
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be...
Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year. This year was diplopia. People were loving it. The people who weren’t falling...
Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”
CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...
Doctor Actually Thinks He Is Saving Lives
WORCESTER, MA - Dr. Danny Trenda, a recent Tufts University Medical School graduate, told friends at Tony’s Tavern that he was saving lives. His friends,...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...