Emergency Medicine

Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients

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“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of...
73 miles per hour

New Code Potassium Repletion Team to Revolutionize Inpatient Care

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NASHVILLE, TN - Health care professionals will tell you if there is one epidemic that deserves greater attention than the opioid and obesity epidemics...
nice patient endangered species

Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients

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HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018.  Argus...
em entrance

CDC Bans Certain Phrases from Use by Patients in the Emergency Department

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Failure to adhere to these and other evidence-based rules could lead to fines, imprisonment, or to patients losing their entitlement to high quality emergency...
doctor on phone

This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service

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Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind Hi.  I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this...
upset patients

Patient Leaves AMA to ‘Teach Them a Lesson!’

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HARTFORD, CT - Local man Robert Smith recently posted a scathing rebuke of Hartford County Hospital's Emergency Department after an excruciating 3-hour wait in...
medical app

Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival

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BOCA RATON, FL - Patient rights advocates from sea to shining sea are giving high compliments to Madre De Díos Medical Center for its...
emergency department

New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit

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BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes.  "We took functional...

Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’

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Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head." Known for years by co-workers...

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into...