Emergency Medicine

ambulance

Patient Learns She Can Come to ER Without Calling an Ambulance

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LEXINGTON, KY - Sarah Johnson was recently seen at County Hospital's Emergency Department for the fourteenth time this year for an itchy rash on...
nice patient endangered species

Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients

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HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018.  Argus...
Super Bowl LI shootout

Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout

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HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
U.S. economy crashes ICU

Breaking: U.S. Economy Crashes, Transferred to ICU

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NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog has learned that the U.S. economy is crashing and is no longer stable for the medical floor.  It has...
bowl of pills

Glass Candy Bowl Filled with Assortment of Antibiotics, Steroids, and Narcotics Available at ER...

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HANOVER, NJ - Many might remember the ER that became famous in 2014 for placing a free bowl full of percocets in their waiting...
em entrance

CDC Bans Certain Phrases from Use by Patients in the Emergency Department

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Failure to adhere to these and other evidence-based rules could lead to fines, imprisonment, or to patients losing their entitlement to high quality emergency...
npo guidelines acute pulmonary embolism

100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism

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NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning,...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

New CDC Recommendation: Ignore Patients with Pain > 4

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued a new recommendation on the heels of March's "CDC Guideline for...
malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
hospital staff meeting

Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale

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COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...