Emergency Medicine

Delta WiFi bicarb

SOL: In-Flight Emergency Medical Kit Just Contains Bicarb

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DELTA 1342 - Well, I hate to break this news to you, especially since you were just so nice enough to volunteer and help...

ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance

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COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it...
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Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker

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Chief Complaint: Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain. History of Present Illness: This is a really, really annoying patient with a given...
hoverboard injuries

After-Christmas Special: Buy a Hoverboard, Get a Free Visit to the ED

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Emergency departments all across the globe are swamped in what can only be deemed as the best deal in holiday history.  Thousands of men,...
woman with common cold

Woman with a Cold Thoroughly Fills Out ED Comment Card

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ST. LOUIS, MO - Mandy Tremboll, a suburbanite fighter for justice with absolutely no situational awareness, had the audacity to fill out a comment card...
rollercoaster

Local ED to Offer Six Flags-Inspired ‘Flash Passes’ to Skip Long Lines

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GRAIN VALLEY, MO – In an attempt to boost revenue and cut waiting times, a local Missouri emergency department is beta testing a program...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...

Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest

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BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
73 miles per hour

Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...