Emergency Medicine

Watson IBM

IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED

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CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date.  “After our success in diagnosing...
radiologist running

Radiologist Clocks Sub 4-Second 40-Yard Time During a Code Blue

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ATLANTA, GA - A new record was achieved yesterday afternoon as Dr. Ken Willingham, a radiologist at Gotta Have Faith Hospital, clocked a 3.98...
crying hospital

Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking news to GomerBlog, the first batch of crying July 1st interns were spotted in a rarely used stairwell at...
CPR

CPR Guidelines Made Even Simpler

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Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was replaced by only chest compression in 2008 after a slow de-emphasis on replacement breathing.  This made CPR simple and easy to remember,...
eternal life

New Study Shows Tammyflu Pills Provide Eternal Life

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Yesterday, Roach Pharmaceuticals announced the results of a new flu treatment study which is sure to change the course of...

High Patient Satisfaction Scores, Key Elements for Success

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Over 23,000 hospital patients were polled to help determine what factors are considered important for patients when it comes to their satisfaction at hospitals.  Knowing...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...
avocado toast

It’s All Good: Avocado Toast More Effective Than Steroids in the Treatment of Septic...

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NEW YORK, NY - The most important publication since the release of the Sepsis-3 guidelines, a multi-center trial led by a team of physicians...

Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”

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Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...

Hospital Employees Organize Christmas Strike After Festivus Snub

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NEW YORK, NY - Workers at the Newman Medical Center in Queens, NY have organized a Christmas Day strike after hospital administration failed to...