trauma knife

Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

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WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to...
Black & Blue Friday

ACEP Renames Black Friday ‘Black & Blue Friday’

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IRVING, TX - Recognizing Black Friday not as the first day of the holiday shopping season but as a day to "kill each other...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
Rheumatology

Twitter Unveils New Electronic Medical Record, Tweet-MR

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Twitter announced today that it would enter the business of electronic medical records, or EMRs. Twitter CEO and founder Jack...
chest pain

No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent

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ATLANTA, GA - No matter the symptom, no matter the severity, and no matter the location, onset, or duration, local cardiologist Willie McCray is...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

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A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
Xanax

Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have...
paramedics in er

ER Techs Now to Carry Fanny Packs with More Stuff

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It's no secrets that in the ER if a nurse or doctor requires a piece of equipment that the tech is the one who...