Emergency Medicine

recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...

Local Trauma Centers Overwhelmed Following Mario Kart Pile Up on Rainbow Road

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MARIO CIRCUIT, WII - Nearby trauma centers struggled to effectively administer life-saving treatment to the victims of a gruesome pileup on Rainbow Road.  The accident resulted...
cocktails

GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
patient restraints

Study: Physical & Chemical Restraints Can Effectively Supplement Lack of Self Restraint

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CHICAGO, IL - A five patient case series out of Northwestern University recently evaluated the utility of using physical and/or chemical restraints to supplement...
reward stickers

Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum

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CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system,...

Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’

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ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription...
stray dart

So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next

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It happens all the time.  You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...

Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose

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ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...
diabetic coma

Cookie Monster in Critical Condition Due to Diabetic Complications

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SESAME STREET - Children around the world awoke from sleepy-time to the stunning news that Cookie Monster is battling for his life in the intensive...

Trump Tweets About Several Medical Specialties

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Trump is at it again.  This time it involves tweets regarding several medical specialties. Enjoy! ...