Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves
GREEN BAY, WI - Proctor & Gamble's toilet paper brand Charmin expects to see profits soar throughout July as new interns flood hospitals in a blazing...
Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves. Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
These Two Dudes Caught, Reign of Terror Over
ST. LOUIS, MO – America’s most popular unsolved mystery, the mystery case of two individuals who team up to shoot, beat, and steal from many...
‘Twas the Night After Christmas
'Twas the Night After Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house,
The parents were lined up, all running their mouths.
Neb tubing...
NBC to Air Most Realistic Medical Show Since Scrubs, “INTOX”
NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to compete with CBS’s “Code Black,” next Friday NBC plans to air a brand new medical show...
45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...
Tragedy at St. Mary’s Hospital as Nurse Tries to Eat Another Nurse
ALBANY, NY – Police are currently on the scene at St. Mary’s Hospital as reports are streaming in regarding a story that is as...
Emergency Doctor Censured for Focusing on Patients’ Presenting Problems
CHICAGO, IL – Dr. Fred Dulant, medical director for Giant Itsabusiness Healthcare, today announced a three-day suspension issued to recently-hired emergency medicine (EM) doctor...
Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...