Internal Medicine Resident Ecstatic About Upcoming Emergency Department Rotation
STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up. "When I...
Unit Secretary Wins Nightly ETOH Pool
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Emergency room secretary Lois Mare won the nightly ETOH pool at Topanga Memorial Hospital last night. Her winning guess of 433...
Constipation is an Admitting Diagnosis Apparently
NEW YORK, NY - An inpatient medical team at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital was horrified to find out the very troubling news that one of their...
Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight
DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta...
SOL: In-Flight Emergency Medical Kit Just Contains Bicarb
DELTA 1342 - Well, I hate to break this news to you, especially since you were just so nice enough to volunteer and help...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
ER Catchphrases Guaranteed to Get Consultants to Come into the ER
LAS VEGAS, NV – Last Friday was the conclusion of the 18th annual meeting of the High-rolling Emergency Medicine Physicians (HEMP) association. Aside from...
ER Doc Closes Papercut with 14 Stitches to Protect Gang Member’s Street Cred
Los Angeles, CA- Jose “Mierda Verde” Sinhuevos is one of the most feared member of the West Hollywood Nacho Libre Street gang.
Last week while...
Medicare to Use Physician and Nurse Surveys to Rate Patients for Compensation
WASHINGTON, DC - Medicare announced groundbreaking plans to use physician and nurse surveys to rate their patients by 2017 as a measure to set “individualized”...
7 Phrases That Make an Emergency Medicine Resident Want to End It All
1) So what specialty are you going into after residency?
Emergency medicine. How do you not get this? That’s why I’m here seeing you in...