Emergency Medicine

Eastern Medicine Inspired Stroke Protocol Saves Millions in Health Care Costs, Improves Patient Satisfaction...

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PORTLAND, OR - A cerebral vascular accident, commonly known as a stroke, is a devastating diagnosis that frequently results in long-term disability and death.  Many...
vending machine

Prescription Vending Machines Leading to Reduced ER Visits

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MIAMI, FL - In the last decade, emergency departments have seen an astronomical increase in patient visits.  Either it be a growing population, healthcare...

Family Guy Teaches Us About the Wonders of Ipecac

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Ipecac was once a remedy in the event of accidental poisonings.  In this classic episode of Family Guy, Peter, Stewie, Chris & Brian show us why...

Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’

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CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
doctor on phone

This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service

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Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind Hi.  I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this...
73 miles per hour

Beverly Hills Hospital Unveils New ‘Vapid Response Team’

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA - It’s no secret that Americans spend far too much on end-of-life care. Moreover, medical interventions on the terminally ill can...

Hospital Employees Organize Christmas Strike After Festivus Snub

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NEW YORK, NY - Workers at the Newman Medical Center in Queens, NY have organized a Christmas Day strike after hospital administration failed to...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...

Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’

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Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head." Known for years by co-workers...
holistic medicine

Area Lactose-Intolerant Holistic Practitioner Has Severe Lactic Acidosis

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SEPSIS BUNDLE HOSPITAL, CO - Area holistic practitioner Suzi Budzinsky-Donnitz-Sham-Meyers CPA, PhD, RN was unfortunately hospitalized today.  While she has been severely lactose intolerant for...