Emergency Medicine

ridiculously restrictive transfusion

Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death

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BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
cheetos sign

New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain

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ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

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Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app...
pinecones

Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones

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BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...

Baby Yoda Memes Improve Patient Compliance

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In what started as a joke by the senior emergency medicine residents at Hospital Woeisme, Baby Yoda memes posted around the ED have had...
turkey in code cart

Breaking: Study Finds Efficacy of Turkey Sandwiches in Convincing ED patients to Discharge AMA...

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In what is being called a major wake-up call for the Emergency Medicine community, a groundbreaking study published in The Washington Journal of Emergency...
diabetes

Major Hospitals Caught in Diabetes Scandal

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SUGARVILLE, TX - The Hershey Memorial Hospital (HMH) has been cited in a nationwide investigation by the CDC. The investigation is a result of patient complaints...
urine catheter

Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

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BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
Delta WiFi bicarb

Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight

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DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta...