Scrub Machine Programmed to ‘Mess with Staff’
CHICAGO, IL - Recent discoveries in computer programming have allowed programers of Dameda Scrub Machines to program a very interesting feature: the scrub machine...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven
VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead...
Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’
Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head."
Known for years by co-workers...
So You’ve Been Hit by a Stray Dart, What to Do Next
It happens all the time. You're hanging out at a bar or friend's house playing a game of darts, when - BAM!! - a...
High Patient Satisfaction Scores, Key Elements for Success
Over 23,000 hospital patients were polled to help determine what factors are considered important for patients when it comes to their satisfaction at hospitals. Knowing...
Trump Tweets About Several Medical Specialties
Trump is at it again. This time it involves tweets regarding several medical specialties. Enjoy!
...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was...