Emergency Medicine

tightrope walker

Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit

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KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
electricty

Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars

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NORTH CAROLINA - Doctors and nurses are seeing unprecedented highs in morale and productivity three weeks after Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo Hospital installed...

Narc Madness

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It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...

ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance

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COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it...
hospital administrator

Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
snack cart

Hospital Replaces Crash Carts with Snack Carts

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MARIETTA, GA – Goodbye defibrillators and hello Swedish Fish!  In a rare display of unity, hospital administrators and health care personnel at Marietta Medical...

Elephant Complains of Chest Pain ‘Like a Human Sitting on My Chest’

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NEW YORK, NY - At approximately 6:00 AM this morning, a local elephant named Eli the Elephant developed excruciating ten out of ten chest...
bowl of pills

Glass Candy Bowl Filled with Assortment of Antibiotics, Steroids, and Narcotics Available at ER...

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HANOVER, NJ - Many might remember the ER that became famous in 2014 for placing a free bowl full of percocets in their waiting...

Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose

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ATLANTA, GA - A cute, little, fuzzy study published today in the New England Journal of Stuffed Animals (NEJSA) has revealed something that healthcare...