Mob Boss Agrees to Shoot Man in Kneecaps Before Weekend
CHICAGO, IL - "I swore off horse races for 10 years, but I relapsed," Sam Hemsworth told us from his wheelchair. "Before I knew...
New “Eject” Button Expedites ED Discharges
HARTFORD, CT - In a stunning combination of social work finesse and aeronautical engineering, one local hospital’s ED has patented the first "Eject" button...
Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...
TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
Dilaumed: Look-Alike Sound-Alike Medication Praised by ER Physicians and Nurses Everywhere
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new medication that has been deliberately named to be a classic look-alike sound-alike drug, has been welcomed with arms wide...
HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the...
Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube
BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough? Not so fast. An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who...
Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky
CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel...
I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...