Emergency Medicine

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

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Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the...
frustrated doctor

Frustrated ED Doc ‘Goes Nuclear,’ Admits Patient to Administration

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing unprecedented obstruction getting his patient admitted to the hospital and decompressing his overburdened emergency department (ED), local ED physician, Dr....
frustrated physician

14 More Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician‏

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If the advice given to you on the previous list of 15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician was not sufficient to achieve...
eject button

New “Eject” Button Expedites ED Discharges

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HARTFORD, CT - In a stunning combination of social work finesse and aeronautical engineering, one local hospital’s ED has patented the first "Eject" button...
registered nurses

Memes, Memes, and More Medical Memes

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Cardiologist Validates ‘Time to Burrito Consumption’ as Reasonable Cardiac Risk Stratification Tool

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MOBILE, AL - Local cardiologist Dr. Mona Bee has just published a brand new risk stratification tool for coronary artery disease and her patients...
arterial line circle of willis CPR emergency department butthurt audacity code shift change prior authorization otherwise stable

ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness

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According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware...
prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
ed triage

Texting on Cell Phone During ED Triage Correlated with Improved Patient Outcomes

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CLEVELAND, OH - A recent multi-center observational trial involving several EDs in Cleveland have demonstrated that texting on one’s cell phone during an initial ED...