“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges
ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Tragedy at St. Mary’s Hospital as Nurse Tries to Eat Another Nurse
ALBANY, NY – Police are currently on the scene at St. Mary’s Hospital as reports are streaming in regarding a story that is as...
Dr. Mark Plaster to Battle New Super Bacteria in Maryland
ANNAPOLIS, MD - The CDC is warning the public that a new super bacteria has been identified in Maryland that is resistant to every...
Haldol Blowdart Halted in Phase 3 Clinical Trial Due to ‘Safety Concerns’
MORRISTOWN, NJ - Recognizing the mounting need for new and creative ways to quickly administer haloperidol (a typical antipsychotic drug) to that “difficult” patient, Big...
Struggling Intern Asking for ‘Just One Hug’
BOSTON, MA - "Just one hug" is all intern Philip Geary is asking, if not BEGGING, from his fellow interns, residents, students, nurses, attendings,...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume
HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...
Local ER Hires United Airlines Security to ‘Re-Accommodate’ Drug Seekers
HANOVER, NJ – The Holy Cross Hospital announced today that they have hired off-duty United Airlines security guards to help "re-accommodate" drug seekers from...