Med Student Avoids Pelvic Exam for Record 1,429th Straight Day
KANSAS CITY, MO - Fourth-year medical student Rick Hansen ain't no dummy. He even says it himself: "I ain't no dummy." Like most medical...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses...
Local Organic Mom Pleased to Have All Natural, Antibiotic-Susceptibility-Free Infection
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Local organic mom, Fern Meadow, is pleased that her life-threatening leg infection is pandrug-resistant.
“When I spiked a fever and saw red...
IBM’s Watson Suffers Existential Crisis After Shift in ED
CAMDEN, NJ – IBM is reporting that famed super computer Watson suffered one of its biggest setbacks to date. “After our success in diagnosing...
Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients
HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018. Argus...
Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
Breaking: Nurse Successfully Resuscitates CPR Dummy Back to Human Life
NEW ORLEANS, LA - In some incredible news, critical care nurse Margie Casamento at Tulane Medical Center became the first health care practitioner to successful...
New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit
BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes. "We took functional...
Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths
MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian. He...