Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after all the bad publicity he got when he knocked out...
Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization.
The prevailing reaction to this news...
The Most Interesting Patient in the World
Humana pays him a co-insurance to go to the ER.
His in-network coverage follows him wherever he goes.
He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies.
He is a universal blood donor and recipient.
His d-dimer is never...
Emergency Room Bingo!
Getting burned out working in the ED? Make sure to pull out your ED Bingo cards and play!
Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The Voice coach Adam Levine. Thankfully, all band members are in...
The Most Interesting Man in Medicine
He was admitted to school with a simple nod and a smile.
As a student, his attending would ask him for advice.
The lead surgeon assists him and cuts his suture.
Patients thank him for ibuprofen.
He shared...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of their latest controversy where a flight attendant wouldn't believe a female African-American...
Man vs. Koala: A List of Lesser Known ER Complaints
Usually “versus” suggests a terrible trauma coming through the ER, such as Man vs. Car, something that we never want to see. But then there are those times when the “versus” links two things...
Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”
Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled Emergency Department recommendations carefully pieced together by hotel consultants from...
Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign, or 5th if one neglects to think of pain as...