‘Twas the Night After Christmas
'Twas the Night After Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house,
The parents were lined up, all running their mouths.
Neb tubing was hung from the med cart with care
For all of...
Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced
BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard to answer—like “How long have you had this pain?” Land-Phyll...
Breaking: Xanax Prescriptions Skyrocket for Election Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has informed Gomerblog that prescriptions for Xanax and other anxiolytics have increased by 23,000,000% in the past week as Americans brace...
FDA Approves Hospicillin for Use in Patients Who are Full Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved a powerful new palliative care medication called Hospicillin for use in patients who are Full Code when they should really be DNR. The review...
To Control Patient Volumes, Hospital Takes Down Hospital Signs Within 5-Mile Radius
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Exhausted from record levels of ER visits as reflected in recent CEDOCS scores, emergency department staff at University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) Health System are taking a proactive approach and removing...
Search & Rescue Team Saves Anesthesiologist Buried Under Drape Avalanche
DALLAS, TX - Search and rescue operations are underway to locate anesthesiologist Kelly Doolittle in operating room (OR) 5 at Dallas Medical Center after an avalanche of neatly-pressed drapes tumbled on top of her...
Toxicologists: Spice Overdoses Falling, Pumpkin Spice Overdoses Soaring
TERRE HAUTE, IN - Toxicologists all over the country have noted a disturbing trend with regard to street drug overdoses: while overdoses of Spice seem to be declining, Pumpkin Spice overdoses have recently gone...
CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and for all that the adjective of pus is “purulent,” not...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...
Old School vs. New School Physical Exam
The physical exam has changed, let's admit it. In what ways? Let's compare the old school and new school physical exams and see how things have changed in just a matter of a few...
