ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...
NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains....
ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked. Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies...
Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain
LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain. This emergency pain...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was...
ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits
HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
Bacon-Laced Gastric Lavage Tubes a Big Hit for Patients
LAS VEGAS, NV – Maker of orogastric, nasogastric, and gastric lavage tubes, Medical Stuff, unveiled a new product line last week that is predicted to...
Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a...
Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants...
WASHINGTON, DC - A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma...