Anesthesiologist Sworn in as Surgeon General, Immediately Goes on Break
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after being sworn in as the nation’s 20th Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams announced that he was going on break....
New Hospital Policy Aims to Punish Patients for Lying
ORLANDO, FL – Have you ever been a victim of a lying patient, such as someone who lies about the intensity of their pain...
Computer Glitch Causes KevinMD to Post Only Uplifting Articles About Medicine
NASHUA, NH – In a bizarre twist, famed social media physician burnout expert, Kevin Pho’s website KevinMD suffered what Dr. Pho is calling a...
Prima Donna Surgeon Can’t be Bothered to Dress Self
AUGUSTA, GA – Saying they are “sick and tired” of waiting on surgeons hand and foot (mostly hands), operating room nurses at nearby Mercy...
Attendings Gather for Annual “Housestaff Fantasy” Draft
Twelve attendings from Piermont Valley Hospital gathered in the hospital library last Tuesday at 7:30 pm for their annual "Fantasy Housestaff" Draft.
Dr. Tom Droca,...
Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds
FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused...
OB/GYN Fake Laughs at Labor Day Joke for 8,000th Time
With her mouth stretched into a forced smile and the skin around her eyelids perfectly crinkled, OBGYN Charlotte Davis let out a boisterous fake...
Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores
PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after...
Doctor Asks If There’s a Pilot Aboard This Hospital
NEW YORK, NY - In a moment of inspiration after he forced herself to brainstorm What would a pilot do?, internist Dr. Matt Thompson at Bellevue...