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calling pathologist

Calling Pathologists Multiple Times Does Not Expedite Reports, Study Finds

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – A new study sponsored by the College of American Pathologists concluded that there is an inverse correlation between the number of...
narcan fentanyl nipple

Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...
wrist x-ray

TSA Takes Wrist X-Rays for Poorly-Insured Passenger

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NEW YORK, NY - Shocked at the out-of-pocket costs he was incurring for the care of his recent wrist fracture, New York area resident...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...
drones

California Vaccination Rates Soar with Drone-Delivered Vaccines

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SACRAMENTO, CA - California reports rapid increases in its vaccination rates, thanks to a new partnership with Amazon Prime’s drone service. “For years, we’ve had...
physical exam

AMA Holds Funeral Service for Physical Exam

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The American Medical Association held a large funeral service today in honor of the Physical Exam, which passed away earlier this month after a...
pastoral care

Breaking: Inpatient Pastoral Care Team Suffering Burnout

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, sh*t has hit the fan as GomerBlog is sad to report that our pastoral care teams nationwide are emotionally...
doctorate of nursing

Nurse Raises the Post-Nominal Letter Bar

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PORTLAND, OR - Nurse Ruth Scrittle, ASN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, MBA, CEN, ACLS, CENP, FAEN, is actively petitioning to have additional letters added...
porn

Med Students Not Actually Working, Just Looking at Porn

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NEW YORK, NY - Though medical students Matthew Roberts, Erin Long, Lauren McCarty look like they are studying or sifting through a patient's electronic...