Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project
RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital has hired consultants from a local brothel.
"Healthcare is constantly being...
Joint Commission Mandates All Patients Be Known As Bob
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission today released new guidelines for protecting patient privacy. The guidelines mandate that all hospitalized patients be known as Bob regardless of real name, age, gender, race or...
Area Dog Vomits, Directed to Human ER by Veterinary Clinic on Friday Afternoon
FAIRFAX, VA - Rusty, a local 4-year-old labrador retriever who had a few episodes of vomiting, was sent to the emergency department last Friday afternoon by his primary veterinary provider (PVP) after his owner...
Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a tragic tale of "I told you so," three nurses died overnight at Mercy Hospital as a result of eating food and leaving open beverages at the nurses station. The...
ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine
WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing. Instead, all 4th-year medical students and 2nd-year residents will gather for a skills combine to...
Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies
VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies, specifically - to ease anxiety for patients, families, and hospital...
Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts
CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks ago by his own hospital staff of abusing "copy and...
New Research Shows Virtual Online BLS/ACLS Course Not Saving Real Lives
PHOENIX, AZ - Although popular with millennials and medical administrators, new research shows that online BLS/ACLS training is not effective at instilling the muscle-memory reflexes needed for emergency response skills.
"BLS and ACLS responses need...
3:01 AM Lozenges Order Request Caught on Tape
BOCA RATON, FL - The following is an exclusive transcript of the explosive dialogue that has resulted in a formal reprimanding of Dr. Ann Hedonia by hospital administrators:
NURSE: “Hello?”
DOCTOR: “Yes, this is Dr. Ann Hedonia....
Antibiotic Cures Common Cold Virus
PHOENIX, AZ - Doctors in Arizona have discovered a revolutionary cure to the common cold. On October 1, John Sniffles entered the emergency department at Valley Hospital. After a seven-hour wait, he was seen by...
