Medical Researcher Belatedly Realizes His Paper Was Published in The Anals of Internal Medicine
DES MOINES, IA – With dawning horror, local medical researcher Dr. Clint Malloy realized he had been mistaken to believe his recent paper was accepted to The Annals of Internal Medicine, when in fact it had...
RN Relieved to Find Out That Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse
HASTINGS, CA – Jenny Pasternak, an ICU nurse, was “very worried” about her shift tonight. “I have been working as a nurse for 14 years and every day I come to work clueless, just faking it,”...
Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA. "Long-term mortality rates are sky rocketing over our placebo groups."
In an effort...
Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body
CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become more and more frustrated by the scrub situation at his...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately, our nation's emergency department doctors and nurses are plagued with...
New OpenBed Medical App May Revolutionize Hospital Visits
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The makers of OpenTable, the world’s leading provider of dining reservations online, have released a new healthcare-based website and medical app called OpenBed, which may revolutionize the future of hospital...
ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking in through triage.
Just as in his restaurant, a single file...
‘Those Other Doctors’ Don’t Exist
EAST ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is bringing you the biggest story since police in St. Louis apprehended these two guys. You know the type: thugs who only prey on those kneeling in fervent prayer or...
Chief Resident Forging Attending’s Signature for Intern Assessment Forms, Praised for His Initiative
DROGHEDA, CO. LAOIS, IRELAND - Dr. Means was discovered yesterday to be filling out intern assessment forms and signing them with Mr. McGearry’s signature. The surgical SHO at Our Lady of Perpetual Austerity Hospital has...
God Denies Involvement in Cancer Treatment and Recovery
HOPE VALLEY, CA -Twenty months after being diagnosed with lung cancer, 67-year-old Denise Dewberry has been declared cancer-free by her doctors. She claims her cure to be the work of God.
God says otherwise.
In a...
