Friday, April 19, 2024

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Medical Meth to Increase Tax, Dental Revenue

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JAY, FL - Not since legalized marijuana increased Colorado's Revenues and Frito Lay's profits, has a drug’s side effects so quickly boosted another profession’s revenue.  Although the American Dental Association declined to comment, dentist offices...

Breaking: Medical Student Cuts Surgical Knot Too Short

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Medical student Dan Richards was disciplined Thursday for cutting a surgical knot "too short" during a skin closure. "The surgeon told me to cut the knot, but not on the knot.  He...

Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters

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As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are: Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a horrible life. Let's be honest, you got yourself into this.       ...

Big Pharma and Mega Hospitals ‘Scared Beyond Belief’ of Tiny Las Vegas Health Clinic

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LAS VEGAS, NV - An innovative and daring new health clinic has been recently launched in downtown Las Vegas.  Inexplicably called Turntable Health and led by Dr. Zubin Damania (a.ka. D-list celebrity hospitalist rapper ZDoggMD), it...
remote village

Impoverished Village Featured in its 500th Medical School Admission Essay

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MKUYUNI, MWANZA REGION, TANZANIA - A rural Tanzanian village is celebrating a major milestone today: being featured in its 500th medical school admission essay. The village, with its picturesque tin-roofed hovels and lack of piped water, reflected...

$1.3 Billion Saved by Eliminating Common Greetings in Patient Encounters Claim Managed Care Administrators

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NEWPORT, RI - Managed care administrators have calculated that if physicians eliminate common greetings towards patients in the exam room, savings could mount in the billions.  Common greetings such as "How are you doing?"...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40 minutes.  A typical waiting room in the US will have...

Multi-Use Medication Vials Used More Than Once, Pharmacy Puzzled

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SHARON, PA - In the epic battle for hospital supremacy, Anesthesia vanquished Radiology by delaying an OR case much longer than the fifteen minutes it takes to navigate an X-ray machine from the...

Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of...

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PITTSBURGH, PA – Dr. Harry Bonecutter, a prominent orthopedic surgeon at Pittsburgh Health, identified a strange noise emanating from a patient which he could not identify.  The incident occurred in his office during a...

Study: Length of Birth Plan Correlates to Length of C-Section Scar

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ST. LOUIS, MO - A new study just published in the latest Obstetrics and Gynecology Journal demonstrated that the longer a woman’s birth plan was, the greater the likelihood of her going for a...