Rodgers: Ryan Braun Was Confused About How HGH Works
GREEN BAY, WI - Ryan Braun, left fielder for the Milwaukee Brewers, admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs on July 22. Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rodgers realized that his friend, Ryan Braun, did not know what...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m. a STAT complete blood count (CBC) was ordered on a...
PlayStation 3 to Unveil ‘Colonoscopy’ Video Game
SAN MATEO, CA – PlayStation developers plan to release the highly anticipated Colonoscopy 2016 video game to the public soon, with 2,000 special orders already being sold. The excitement over this revolutionary colonoscopy game is...
Medical Student Paged ‘Stat’ for Fecal Disimpaction Case
PHOENIX, AZ - At 2:30 a.m., medical student Amanda Williamson was abruptly woken from her deep sleep to a STAT page. "At first I didn't realize what was going on. Medical students are never paged...
Royal Baby Born, London Mother Self-Delivers
LONDON, ENGLAND – With the entire world watching, the Royal Baby was born at 4:24 p.m., weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces, APGARS 8 and 9, points taken for color and tone. Every second of the...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined "Bieber fever." The fever, which has struck millions of teenagers...
Hospitalist Dictation at Home Goes Tragically Wrong
ST. PAUL, MN - Dr. Dave Krieger was running late last Tuesday when, in retrospect, he made a terrible mistake: he decided to dictate his patient's history and physical (H&P) at home. Here is the infamous dictation excerpt...
Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins
DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to date. It’s name is HN2483 and there is no antibiotic...
After 9 Head Trauma Calls, The Doctor is ‘Furious’
BATTLE CREEK, MI – Family doctor, William Turncoat, was visibly upset after slamming the phone down. "That’s the ninth time today I’ve told her… I tell her same thing every time. You’d think after the second...
Raising Obesity BMI Classification to 35 Would Cut Obesity Rates by 42%
WASHINGTON, DC - Obesity has become a significant burden upon the medical system in the United States and the American Medical Association (AMA) has decided to fight back. Last year, the AMA took steps to proclaim...