Tips to Keep Unvaccinated Kids Safe Around Vaccinated Kids
SPOKANE, WA - As the measles epidemic grows across Washington state and several other states in the US, free “thinking” anti-vaccination parents find their...
Massachusetts Hospitals to Restrict “A**hole to Nurse” Ratio
BOSTON, MA - Although a ballot question proposing stricter nurse-to-patient ratios was defeated in the Massachusetts midterm elections in November, hospitals are taking initiative...
Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency
WORLD 1-1 - Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario...
Always Blame Nephrology
Intern: Patient’s BP is now 90/50.
Resident: This is from pulling too much fluid with dialysis
Intern: Patient didn’t get any dialysis today
Resident: Then, it is...
Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by...
Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours...
Fisher Price to Add Thoracotomy Tools To Medical Kit for 2019
EAST AURORA, NY - In a press release, Fisher Price has said that the children's toy brand will add thoracotomy tools to its popular...
Primary Care Physician Shocked to Hear Young Male Not Presenting for Penis Problem
On Thursday, September 27th of the year 2018, Dr. Lauren Deeply Indebt received the shock of her life: a young healthy male presented to...
Groundbreaking: Patient Placed on Gaseous Diet
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hoping this can provide critical nourishment for someone with severe dysphagia to both solids and liquids instead of defaulting to...
Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables
With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround.
“We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...