Brand New Vital Sign Added to Monitors and Electronic Medical Records
SAN DIEGO, CA – New governmental regulations passed last week by Congress have created another vital sign, making this the 6th core vital sign, or 5th if one neglects to think of pain as...
Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a mandatory Summer Camp for providers.
Team building activities include:
Patient family tug...
Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit
AUSTIN, TEXAS - In the midst of post-coital bliss, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags asked his sexual partner to fill out a satisfaction survey, purely out of reflexive habit. "It's very important to take a quick...
Hospital President Purchases Exotic Car, Maintains Non-Profit Status
MIAMI, FL - St. Mary’s Regional Hospital patients and staff were treated to a wonderful sight as they walked into the hospital Tuesday morning. A red 2015 Ferrari 458 Italia glistened in the parking...
An Administrator’s Tips to Health Care Providers for Curing Burnout
Burnout is prevalent. Most of you reading this are burned out. What can we do? How can we preserve our sanity? We sat down with hospital administrator Jason Wilcox in his beautiful office overlooking...
Mood Rings Reflect Real Time Patient Satisfaction
COLUMBIA, SC - Due to lagging patient satisfaction scores and frequent complaints, County Hospital administrators are fitting every patient with a mood ring so staff can track patient satisfaction throughout the treatment process at any...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH) are now considering renaming medical doctors (MDs) to something much...
Administrator Says Ideal Hospital Would Have 10,000 Beds, 10,000 Administrators, and Maybe a Few...
NEW YORK, NY - In an interview with the New England Journal of Administration (NEJA), hospital administrator Jason Wilcox stated his vision for the hospital of the future, stating that the ideal hospital would...
Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations
BURBANK, CA - Just on the heels of an amazing comeback, the Disney Channel has now stopped patient care operations in the backyard playhouse clinic of Dottie “Doc” McStuffins after a Joint Commission audit revealed myriad...
EMS Now Being Dispatched to Transport Satisfaction Surveys
HUNTERSVILLE, NC - Last week, emergency medical crews accepted a new challenge in this suburban North Carolina community. At the behest of health care administrators who decided that patient satisfaction data collection is "the...
