Hospital Administration

joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
illiterate medical scribes

Hospital Administration Cuts Corners by Hiring Illiterate Medical Scribes

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BALTIMORE, MD - Always brainstorming innovative ways to improve the bottom line, hospital administrators at the Johns Hopscotch Hospital had what they described as a...
social media

Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media

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Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain.  He...
PGA pro turns hospital administrator

PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf

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SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...

Canadian Government Unveils Healthcare “Canadianization” Strategy

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OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA - History was made today, with the unveiling of a new healthcare strategy aimed at bringing Canadian values to the forefront...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...
nurse lunch

Administrators Throw Nursing Appreciation Lunch, Nurses Too Short-Staffed to Attend

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“They just don’t appreciate our appreciation!” exclaimed CEO Benjamin Green, referencing the absence of nurses as he gathered with his fellow administrators in Good...

United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital

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CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months....

The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...