Hospital Administration

Nurse Finds Filing Incident Report More Efficient Than Completing Restraint Documentation

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It all started when Kathy Matthews, an ICU nurse at Mercy Hospital in Detroit, was chided by management for documenting her patient's restraints ten...

JCAHO Changes Recommendation After Evidence Found to Support Recommendation

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – During a recent Joint Commission Board meeting, it was discovered that the recommendation that Physician white coats be laundered daily...
doctor notes DVT PE

Hospital Gets Rid of Patients, Doctors to Spend 100% of Time Writing Notes

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State Hospital Medical Center has made headlines across the nation today by shutting its doors to human patients.  Physicians will now spend 100% of...

Hospital Security Successfully Lobbies for Independent Practice

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Reno, NV - In a rare demonstration of bipartisan support, hospital security officers were granted full and unrestricted rights to practice police work independently...
nurse lunch

Administrators Throw Nursing Appreciation Lunch, Nurses Too Short-Staffed to Attend

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“They just don’t appreciate our appreciation!” exclaimed CEO Benjamin Green, referencing the absence of nurses as he gathered with his fellow administrators in Good...
summer camp

Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary

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To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...

Hospital Administrator Accidentally Touches Patient

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BOSTON, MA - Massachusetts General Hospital Vice President for Floor Nurse Oversupervision, Michael Huffenstuff MBA, OPP, POS, had a terrifying experience this past week.  Huffenstuff...
wine for surgical prep

VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep

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MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
bed control

Bed Control Totally Out of Control

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BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports.  In fact, it’s f**king nuts. “COME ON IN...
hospital administrators

Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey

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CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...