Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Jealous of Nurses Week, Hospital Administrators Plan to Create Administrators Week
ATLANTA, GA - Jealous of all the attention registered nurses (RNs) have received during Nurses Week, hospital administrators nationwide are hoping to create an...
Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey
CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It
The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...
EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used
Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
Administrators Throw Nursing Appreciation Lunch, Nurses Too Short-Staffed to Attend
“They just don’t appreciate our appreciation!” exclaimed CEO Benjamin Green, referencing the absence of nurses as he gathered with his fellow administrators in Good...
Administrator Bestows Upon Nurse the Highest Honor in the Land: Kudos
HOUSTON, TX - On his mighty steed, hospital administrator Sir Chaz Moneybags galloped onto the med-surg unit at Ben Taub Hospital and in front of...
Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar
In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys,...
Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
TAMPA, FL - Following the immense success of renaming registered nurses (RNs) to “Refreshments & Narcotics,” hospital administrators at Tampa Memorial Cross Hospital (TMCH)...
The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...