Hospital Administration

bed control

Bed Control Totally Out of Control

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BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports.  In fact, it’s f**king nuts. “COME ON IN...
patient satisfaction flag

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...

Administrator Not Sure What To Do With Survey That Complains About Surveys

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RICHMOND, VA - Administrator Craig Brown was dumbfounded yesterday when he received a survey from a patient that was treated at his hospital.  The...
cpr

Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...

Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays

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Option 1: Just kidding. Option 2: Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
patient satisfaction

New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients

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DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its...

Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

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The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...
illiterate medical scribes

Hospital Administration Cuts Corners by Hiring Illiterate Medical Scribes

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BALTIMORE, MD - Always brainstorming innovative ways to improve the bottom line, hospital administrators at the Johns Hopscotch Hospital had what they described as a...

EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used

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Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...

Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Support “Medicare-for-All-4-One

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WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of bipartisanship that is all too rare in Washington these days, Congress unanimously passed a new health insurance plan...