The Night Before Joint Commission
‘Twas the night before Joint Commission, when all thro’ the ER
Not a beverage was open not, even a beer;
The EMRs were all...
Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved
MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius. Such is the case with Northrop...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot
CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...
Bed Control Totally Out of Control
BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports. In fact, it’s f**king nuts.
“COME ON IN...
Hospital Blocks Election Coverage on TVs: Huge Boost to Healing
KEARNEY, NE - What began as a cable bill cutting measure turned into a real miracle of medicine when the hospital dropped Fox News,...
Area hospital announces plans to no longer provide complimentary room air
The current trend of monitizing all aspects of human existence has spread into all corners of society, including health care. Insurance companies have required...
T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale
In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...
Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983. Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients
CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...