Hospital Administration

rich historian

T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale

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In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...
cancer drug

Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...

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In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
burnout

An Administrator’s Tips to Health Care Providers for Curing Burnout

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Burnout is prevalent.  Most of you reading this are burned out.  What can we do?  How can we preserve our sanity?  We sat down...
telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...

Hospital Administrator Invents Time Travel to Eliminate 30 day Readmission Penalty

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The small town community of Westbrook, NC was in shock last week as its local hospital VP of operations, Mr. Emmett Brown ODB, BMF,...
joint commission

The Night Before Joint Commission

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‘Twas the night before Joint Commission, when all thro’ the ER Not a beverage was open not, even a beer; The EMRs were all...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

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ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...
the purge

The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’

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In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...
drinking alcohol

Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved

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MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius.  Such is the case with Northrop...
cpr

Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...