Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...
New Study Finds Hospital CEO Pay Linked to CEO Satisfaction
In a new report by Coastline Health Systems, the results of a system-wide performance review were unveiled. Two independent consulting groups had been hired...
VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep
MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Administrator Says Ideal Hospital Would Have 10,000 Beds, 10,000 Administrators, and Maybe a Few...
NEW YORK, NY - In an interview with the New England Journal of Administration (NEJA), hospital administrator Jason Wilcox stated his vision for the...
Legal Department at University Uses Attorneys as Models for PBR Course
The Pelvic, Breast and Rectal (PBR) exams are now being performed on our attorneys in our legal department due to restrictions by that same...
Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Support “Medicare-for-All-4-One
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of bipartisanship that is all too rare in Washington these days, Congress unanimously passed a new health insurance plan...
Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar
In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys,...
Burnout Cured by Seeing More Patients, Putting in More Hours
HARTFORD, CT - A recent study conducted by the Society of Hospital Administration concluded that the most effective way to cure physician burnout is...