Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays
Option 1: Just kidding.
Option 2:
Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Respiratory Techs, Dietitians Enraged Over New Policy Allowing Janitors to Wear White Coats
PORTLAND, OR - A new policy has caused a controversy at a local hospital, with multiple departments banding together against the measure which now allows...
Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit
AUSTIN, TEXAS - In the midst of post-coital bliss, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags asked his sexual partner to fill out a satisfaction survey, purely out...
Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge...
Hospital Gets Rid of Patients, Doctors to Spend 100% of Time Writing Notes
State Hospital Medical Center has made headlines across the nation today by shutting its doors to human patients. Physicians will now spend 100% of...
Gone Too Soon: Doctor Drowns in Tsunami of Administrative Kudos
MIAMI, FL - Staff at University of Miami Hospital are grieving today after the tragic death of 32-year-old well-respected and well-loved hospitalist Dr. Aaron...
Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media
Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain. He...
Nurses Fired Over Grim Reaper Halloween Costumes
HOUSTON, TX - Two Nurses were relieved of duty on Friday at Good Samaritan Mercy Hospital for dressing up as The Grim Reaper during...