doctors and administrators clapping

Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators

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WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators.  CEO of...
hospital staff meeting

Mandatory Hospital Staff Meeting to Improve Morale Fails to Improve Morale

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COLUMBIA, SC - ED Staff at Our Lady of Gluten Intolerance Hospital (OLGIH) finished yet another required but uncompensated hospital staff meeting last week...
malpractice court

Physician with MD and JD Sues Self for Malpractice

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In a head-spinning display of legal and corporate maneuvering, a Midwestern physician who also holds a law degree has litigated himself for gross negligence...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
mri scanner

Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar

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In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys,...
bed control

Bed Control Totally Out of Control

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BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports.  In fact, it’s f**king nuts. “COME ON IN...

Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer

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MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
ambulance

EMS Now Being Dispatched to Transport Satisfaction Surveys‏

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HUNTERSVILLE, NC - Last week, emergency medical crews accepted a new challenge in this suburban North Carolina community.  At the behest of health care...
hospital administrator golfing

A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators

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Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant: I am an agent of change...