Hospital Administration

“You signed up for this”, says admin from comfort of home

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Karen, just one of the many admin comprising 34% of US healthcare costs, sent a department-wide email yesterday in response to concerns about PPE...
doc

Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores

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ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season.  Disney...

The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...

Burnout Cured by Seeing More Patients, Putting in More Hours

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HARTFORD, CT - A recent study conducted by the Society of Hospital Administration concluded that the most effective way to cure physician burnout is...
hospital administrator

Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...

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BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...

Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

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NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving weekend without any hospital administrators in-house.  "We have been practicing...
mri scanner

Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar

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In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys,...

Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough.  A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason...

Administrator Not Sure What To Do With Survey That Complains About Surveys

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RICHMOND, VA - Administrator Craig Brown was dumbfounded yesterday when he received a survey from a patient that was treated at his hospital.  The...
the purge

The Joint Commission Announces First Annual ‘Patient Safety Purge’

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In a move sparked by the popularity of the horror movie franchise, The Purge, the Joint Commission for the Accreditation of Hospital Organizations (JCAHO)...