Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot
CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...
Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays
Option 1: Just kidding.
Option 2:
Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit
AUSTIN, TEXAS - In the midst of post-coital bliss, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags asked his sexual partner to fill out a satisfaction survey, purely out...
PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf
SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Gone Too Soon: Doctor Drowns in Tsunami of Administrative Kudos
MIAMI, FL - Staff at University of Miami Hospital are grieving today after the tragic death of 32-year-old well-respected and well-loved hospitalist Dr. Aaron...
Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey
CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
Hospital President Purchases Exotic Car, Maintains Non-Profit Status
MIAMI, FL - St. Mary’s Regional Hospital patients and staff were treated to a wonderful sight as they walked into the hospital Tuesday morning. ...
Canadian Government Unveils Healthcare “Canadianization” Strategy
OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA - History was made today, with the unveiling of a new healthcare strategy aimed at bringing Canadian values to the forefront...
Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators across the country are recognizing the heroic efforts of Chlöe Less, Assistant Director of Quality Control at Madre...