Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to...
Administrators Throw Nursing Appreciation Lunch, Nurses Too Short-Staffed to Attend
“They just don’t appreciate our appreciation!” exclaimed CEO Benjamin Green, referencing the absence of nurses as he gathered with his fellow administrators in Good...
Cost-Cutting Savvy: IT Replacing Computer Mice with Real Mice
LOS ANGELES, CA - Health care systems are always implementing innovative new ways to defray costs, and it turns out Los Angeles Medical Center...
Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting...
PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf
SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
Breaking News: “Never Event” Actually Happens
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM - The Quality Initiative (QI) Committee here at Truth of Consequences Medical Center (ToCMC) was astounded by the news today that...
Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele
BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is...
Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It
The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...