Hospital Gets Rid of Patients, Doctors to Spend 100% of Time Writing Notes
State Hospital Medical Center has made headlines across the nation today by shutting its doors to human patients. Physicians will now spend 100% of...
Primary Care Office Installs People Mover
DENVER, CO - In an effort to satisfy the demands of hospital administration, the physicians at Suncare Health made the easy decision to install...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...
A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators
Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant:
I am an agent of change...
Hospital Discontinues MRI Screening Forms, Press-Ganey Scores Soar
In a presentation to the American Association of Gullible Hospital Administrators, Shady Practices Medical Centers reported that as a result of numerous satisfaction surveys,...
Breaking: Hurricane JCAHO to Obliterate All Open Beverage Containers in Its Path
CAPE VERDE - The National Hurricane Center has detected the most powerful hurricane just yet. Named Hurricane JCAHO, the projected Category 5 Cape Verde...
A Hospital Administrator Explains: MIPS
Hey everybody! Are you having a good day? I hope so. How about this fantastic weather we're having? Awesome, hey let’s talk about the...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
Providers Now Required to Change EMR Password Every 20 Minutes
KEARNEY, NE - In yet another initiative to safeguard patient information and enhance HIPAA compliance, Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) enacted a new policy requiring...
Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators
WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators. CEO of...