Hospital CEO Praised for Raising Patient:Nurse Ratio to 10:1
RICHMOND, VA - Our Lady of Oddi Hospital (OLOH) CEO, Mr. Benjamin Wilkerson, is being credited with developing a novel idea that may save...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
JCAHO Takes Over Airport Security
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move no one expected, JCAHO took over control of airport security today from the Transportation Security Administration. “Took over”...
Hospital Blocks Election Coverage on TVs: Huge Boost to Healing
KEARNEY, NE - What began as a cable bill cutting measure turned into a real miracle of medicine when the hospital dropped Fox News,...
Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores
PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney...
New Joint Commission ER screen now Mandatory at Hospitals
Due to multiple complaints as well as a couple of negative outcomes related to sandwiches in ERs around the country, JCAHO this week unveiled...
Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays
Option 1: Just kidding.
Option 2:
Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
Medical Records Censor Crucial at Removing Admission and Discharge Summaries for Transfer
MUDVILLE, TN - Jimmy Blake, MBA, MHA, Good Samaritan’s Vice President for Administrative Affairs, speaking on condition of having his full name printed at...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...