Hospital Security Successfully Lobbies for Independent Practice

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Reno, NV - In a rare demonstration of bipartisan support, hospital security officers were granted full and unrestricted rights to practice police work independently...
confused doctor

Breaking News: “Never Event” Actually Happens

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TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM - The Quality Initiative (QI) Committee here at Truth of Consequences Medical Center (ToCMC) was astounded by the news today that...

ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance

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COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it...
bed control

Bed Control Totally Out of Control

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BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports.  In fact, it’s f**king nuts. “COME ON IN...
plywood spool

Generous Administrators Upgrade Medicine Conference Room Table with Large Plywood Spool

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ALBANY, NY - In a show of boundless generosity, the hospital administration has donated a large plywood spool to the internal medicine work room to...

Burnout Cured by Seeing More Patients, Putting in More Hours

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HARTFORD, CT - A recent study conducted by the Society of Hospital Administration concluded that the most effective way to cure physician burnout is...
wine for surgical prep

VIP Treatment Offers Merlot, Pinot Noir as Surgical Prep

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MILL VALLEY, CA - As hospitals across the country merge into corporate conglomerates, they lose their identity, much like identical Walmarts taking out Mom...
joint commission

Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...

Patient Who Won’t Sign Consent Form Feared to Have Read It

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The decision by a patient to not sign an informed consent form has left her surgeon petrified that she actually read the form. If...

Hospital Administrators Bring Hope & Quality to Remote African Village

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BAALAH, KENYA - A medical mission trip made up entirely of hospital administrators has just returned to America after a week serving the needy in a remote...