Joint Commission Announces Pyramids of Punishment for Patient Safety Violations
CHICAGO, IL - In a recent press release, the Joint Commission (known as JACHO) announced the implementation of a punishment system for health care...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
Area hospital announces plans to no longer provide complimentary room air
The current trend of monitizing all aspects of human existence has spread into all corners of society, including health care. Insurance companies have required...
Hospital Administrators Think High Healthcare Costs Fixed by Hiring More Hospital Administrators
WASHINGTON, DC - CEOs of major US hospitals are breaking their silence and coming out in favor of hiring more hospital administrators. CEO of...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
New Study Finds Hospital CEO Pay Linked to CEO Satisfaction
In a new report by Coastline Health Systems, the results of a system-wide performance review were unveiled. Two independent consulting groups had been hired...
PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf
SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...
EMS Now Being Dispatched to Transport Satisfaction Surveys
HUNTERSVILLE, NC - Last week, emergency medical crews accepted a new challenge in this suburban North Carolina community. At the behest of health care...
ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks
NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed...
Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission believes that when a patient has “20 out of 10 pain” it isn’t the patient’s fault, it’s...