The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known...
Hospital CEOs to Take Multi-Million Dollar Pay Cuts to Finance Hazard Pays
Option 1: Just kidding.
Option 2:
Pressed by enormous frustration from medical staff around the country working mandatory overtime in unsafe conditions and with limited PPE,...
New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients
DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its...
Area hospital announces plans to no longer provide complimentary room air
The current trend of monitizing all aspects of human existence has spread into all corners of society, including health care. Insurance companies have required...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Michelin Guide Awards 3 Stars to Hospital Cafeteria
DETROIT, MI—The Michelin Guide, the prestigious restaurant ratings book, awarded 3 stars—its highest honor—to only 133 eateries worldwide in its latest edition. But today...
The Joint Commission Unveils New Mandatory Hand Hygiene Checklist
In an earnest effort to remove barriers to hand hygiene and improve the abysmal national hand hygiene rate of 5%, TJC just released a...
Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved
MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius. Such is the case with Northrop...
Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit
AUSTIN, TEXAS - In the midst of post-coital bliss, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags asked his sexual partner to fill out a satisfaction survey, purely out...
Breaking: Hurricane JCAHO to Obliterate All Open Beverage Containers in Its Path
CAPE VERDE - The National Hurricane Center has detected the most powerful hurricane just yet. Named Hurricane JCAHO, the projected Category 5 Cape Verde...