Hospital Administration

joint commission

The Night Before Joint Commission

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‘Twas the night before Joint Commission, when all thro’ the ER Not a beverage was open not, even a beer; The EMRs were all...
drinking alcohol

Hospital Opens Bar, All Healthcare Problems Solved

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MINEOLA, NY - Some ideas are so revolutionary, they can only be conceived in a stroke of genius.  Such is the case with Northrop...
cancer drug

Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...

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In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
plastic grabber

Colonoscopes Replaced by Plastic Reachers from Home Depot

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CHICAGO, IL - Hospital administrators are looking to tighten the pursestrings some more as they look to replace colonoscopes with plastic reachers & grabbers...
bed control

Bed Control Totally Out of Control

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BOSTON, MA – Bed Control at Massachusetts Captain Hospital (MCH) is “totally out of control,” Gomerblog reports.  In fact, it’s f**king nuts. “COME ON IN...

Hospital Blocks Election Coverage on TVs: Huge Boost to Healing

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KEARNEY, NE - What began as a cable bill cutting measure turned into a real miracle of medicine when the hospital dropped Fox News,...
hospital specials

Area hospital announces plans to no longer provide complimentary room air

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The current trend of monitizing all aspects of human existence has spread into all corners of society, including health care. Insurance companies have required...
rich historian

T-Shirt Giveaway Boosts Patient Morale

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In the era of intense hospital competition, improving patient satisfaction goes a long way. This past spring, the Department of Internal Medicine at University...
Monty Python

Monty Python Teaches Us About Birth & Administration

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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life came out in 1983.  Yet this classic scene, "Part I - The Miracle of Birth," still rings loud and...
smoking lounge

Hospital Opens Smoker’s Lounge for Patients

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CHICAGO, IL - Lord Have Mercy Hospital has taken patient satisfaction to a whole new level by recently opening a “Smoker’s Lounge” for its...