Thursday, March 28, 2024

Hospital Administration

telemetry tele

Playing It Safe: Telemetry Box Placed on Tele

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BALTIMORE, MD - Suffering potentially anything from low batteries to a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia, a hospitalist at The Hoppin' Johns Hospital in Baltimore is playing it safe by placing his patient's telemetry box on...
ehr

A Visit from Doc SUPER USER

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Twas the night Before Go Live, And no LIP was in the house No one was home yet, They were all with their mouse They clicked and they copied, Working on charts all alone, In hopes that...
illiterate medical scribes

Hospital Administration Cuts Corners by Hiring Illiterate Medical Scribes

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BALTIMORE, MD - Always brainstorming innovative ways to improve the bottom line, hospital administrators at the Johns Hopscotch Hospital had what they described as a "major epiphany" earlier this week, and have started hiring illiterate...
computer mouse

Cost-Cutting Savvy: IT Replacing Computer Mice with Real Mice

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Health care systems are always implementing innovative new ways to defray costs, and it turns out Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) has come up with the best idea yet, today...

Nurse Finds Filing Incident Report More Efficient Than Completing Restraint Documentation

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It all started when Kathy Matthews, an ICU nurse at Mercy Hospital in Detroit, was chided by management for documenting her patient's restraints ten minutes after the hour one time during her 12-hour shift. "My...

The Joint Commission Freshens Image, Rebrands Itself ‘The Joint’

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - The Joint Commission announced on Tuesday that in an effort to freshen its image, it will now simply be known as, “The Joint.” The announcement was made as part of...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time....

Updated HCAHPS Survey for Patient Satisfaction Released

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Please answer the questions in this survey about your stay at the hospital named on the cover letter.  Do not include any other hospital stays in your answers. YOUR CARE FROM NURSES 1. During this hospital...

The Joint Commission Unveils New Mandatory Hand Hygiene Checklist

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In an earnest effort to remove barriers to hand hygiene and improve the abysmal national hand hygiene rate of 5%, TJC  just released a new checklist that must be filled out for each and...
tsunami kudos

Gone Too Soon: Doctor Drowns in Tsunami of Administrative Kudos

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MIAMI, FL - Staff at University of Miami Hospital are grieving today after the tragic death of 32-year-old well-respected and well-loved hospitalist Dr. Aaron Epic-Metrics.  He died suddenly after being drowned in what can...