ED Places CT Scanners at Entrance
COLUMBIA, SC - “It was bound to happen,” said the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Sendtu Fleur, “sooner or later, we all knew it was coming.”
The BestEver Hospital emergency department today released a long-awaited...
New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray, allowing patients to be gratified and sedated simultaneously.
The appetizing creation...
Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media
Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain. He was not happy at all and felt his needs had...
Breaking News: “Never Event” Actually Happens
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM - The Quality Initiative (QI) Committee here at Truth of Consequences Medical Center (ToCMC) was astounded by the news today that a patient developed a CAUTI or catheter-associated urinary tract infection,...
Providers Now Required to Change EMR Password Every 20 Minutes
KEARNEY, NE - In yet another initiative to safeguard patient information and enhance HIPAA compliance, Kind Humanitarian Hospital (KHH) enacted a new policy requiring providers to change their EMR passwords every twenty minutes.
Hospital administrators...
JCAHO Changes Recommendation After Evidence Found to Support Recommendation
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – During a recent Joint Commission Board meeting, it was discovered that the recommendation that Physician white coats be laundered daily actually may reduce nosocomial infections by as much as 0.002%....
The Updated Hippocratic Oath for Health Care Professionals
I swear by Epic Hyperspace, by eCW, by Allscripts, by AthenaHealth, and by all the Coders and Accountants, making them my witnesses, that I will carry out, according to my ability and judgment, this...
United Airlines Asked to Forcibly Remove Patient from Hospital
CHICAGO, IL - Local patient Sam Johnson, who is being "taken care of" at Mercy Hospital, has not been able to leave for 7 months. Internist Dr. Kyle Redding has failed miserably at placement.
"He is...
Breaking: Administrators Still Clapping Over Stupid Sh*t
DALLAS, TX - In an effort to learn more about the parasites collectively known as hospital administrators, undercover Gomerblog reporters have found that today, during a two-hour administrative meeting, administrators were found to be clapping...
ACGME Limits Resident Work Hours to 168 Per Week
CHICAGO, IL - In an effort to increase resident satisfaction and curb the current epidemic of burnout in health care professionals, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) has published new guidelines to...