New York Outlaws MRSA
ALBANY, NY - New York legislators recently passed a new law that outlaws MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staph aureus) in the state of New York. This new law will make it illegal for one to have MRSA...
CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families
ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the right to quarantine unvaccinated families. According to the proposal, state...
Yawning: America’s New Epidemic
YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas. Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but they do agree there is more yawning today than ever before. ...
Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store
BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis. While in the hospital for over 8 days, he was placed on contact precautions due to...
Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...
ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise. "A little warning, next time before just giving me that headline, please. I honestly...
STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there. Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad to report that there are now numerous outbreaks of sexually...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been an up-and-coming weight-loss empire, with many Hollywood success stories.
Perennial weight-gainer/weight-loser,...
CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak
ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause. It looks like they may have found what they are looking...
Point-Counterpoint: I Got Sick from the Flu Shot
Taking the Point will be Janet Flowerbottom, a local herbal supplement shop owner from Boulder, CO. Taking the Counterpoint is Carl Hogstrom, a pig farmer from Davenport, IA.
Point: I was forced into taking the...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined "Bieber fever." The fever, which has struck millions of teenagers...