Infectious Disease

New York Outlaws MRSA

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ALBANY, NY - New York legislators recently passed a new law that outlaws MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staph aureus) in the state of New York.  This...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the...

Yawning: America’s New Epidemic

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YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas.  Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but...

Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store

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BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis.  While in the hospital for over...

Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...

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ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise.  "A little warning, next...
Olympics

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad...

Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms

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CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz.  Let’s Knock It Off! has been...

CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak

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ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause.  It...

Point-Counterpoint: I Got Sick from the Flu Shot

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Taking the Point will be Janet Flowerbottom, a local herbal supplement shop owner from Boulder, CO.  Taking the Counterpoint is Carl Hogstrom, a pig...

“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...