I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...
In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease. It wasn’t tender per se,...
If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General
NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query
BOCA RATON, FL - Area hospitalist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was running a code on a pulseless patient when he received an emergent coding query on...
Hospital Administrators Announce Summer Camp Itinerary
To combat falling patient satisfaction scores and record staff turnover administration at Grace Disciple Advent Mother Mary Incarnate Theresa hospital (G-DAMMIT) has scheduled a...
Hamburglar Diagnosed with Colon Cancer
MCDONALDLAND - In sad news today, the Hamburglar, who amused children for years with his antics and unstoppable desire for hamburgers, was diagnosed with...
Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo
After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects. We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...
The 12 Symptoms of the Medical Zodiac
Do you remember your constellations, in particular the 12 symptoms of the medical zodiac? Bust out your telescopes, find your closest clear night sky,...
Nurses, Doctors on Pace to Lose Over 1 Trillion Pens in 2015
CHICAGO, IL - In a study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Penmanship (NEJP), researchers have found that healthcare...
Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue...
Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout
ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts. Overturned juice boxes. An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...