Sticks & Stones Didn’t Break Area Man’s Bones, Words Did
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Local Ralph Merriam is one lucky man. Thanks to his medical team and over six hours of emergent surgery, Merriam is...
Four-Year-Old Teaches Surgeons Emotional Intelligence
After the 22nd time (in 2014) that one of its surgeons violated the strict no-tolerance professionalism policy, University Medical Center decided that there should...
Bong Incentive Spirometer a Big Hit in Colorado Hospitals
BOULDER, CO - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce the release of the FDA and DEA approved Bong-dongle pulmonary incentive spirometer/peak flow meter (patent...
Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers
WASHINGTON, DC - The Journal of the American National Society, Committee, and Association of Urinary Retention and Other Things Too (JANSCAUROTT) estimates that nearly...
Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns
BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans
NEW YORK, NY - Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like “A Passion for Healing,” “Because Your Life Matters,” or “Every...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A...
Cardiology Highlights in 2014
Thirteenfold Therapy Increases Bleeding in Patients with Active Bleeding
With the proliferation of antithrombotic agents available for the treatment of conditions like acute coronary syndrome,...