Internal Medicine

In Bid to Cut Costs, Hospital Creates New Multi-Organ System Failure Medical Clinic

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DENVER, CO – With expenses spiraling out of control and a budget in the red for the past year, officials at Denver Regional Medical...

Amidst World Cup Fever, Physician Issues Yellow Card

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ATLANTA, GA - An area hospitalist Dr. Jonathan Williams amidst the excitement of the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, has issued a yellow card...

New York Outlaws MRSA

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ALBANY, NY - New York legislators recently passed a new law that outlaws MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staph aureus) in the state of New York.  This...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
woman gives up facebook

Local Woman Gives Up Facebook, Misses Post on Cure for Her Disease

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PHOENIX, AZ - On the first of the month Katie Brunswick posted on her Facebook page that she was "giving up Facebook" for the month...

Tim Howard Hired by Hospitalist Group, Blocks 16 Admissions

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NORTH BRUNSWICK TOWNSHIP, NJ - Following an epic goalkeeping performance during a 2-1 defeat to Belgium, United States goalkeeper Tim Howard was soon hired by...
prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
discharge summary

ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...