Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Internal Medicine

$1.3 Billion Saved by Eliminating Common Greetings in Patient Encounters Claim Managed Care Administrators

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NEWPORT, RI - Managed care administrators have calculated that if physicians eliminate common greetings towards patients in the exam room, savings could mount in the billions.  Common greetings such as "How are you doing?"...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40 minutes.  A typical waiting room in the US will have...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

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CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at the most inopportune time.  Head custodial manager Wilson Mayers accidentally...

Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door

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HAMPTON, NJ - Local resident Shelly McDonald died suddenly on Thursday when she was at her doctor's office.  Her doctor is currently being charged with malpractice on several accounts.  According to sources, Shelly was checking Facebook on...

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced with younger, cheaper doctors), Allouette Health Systems decided on a...

Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab

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SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out.  Pay was decreasing and vacation days slashed to help keep costs down.  Mildersten was forced...

Funny Nursing Rant by Hitler

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22YS6Q_jFoQ&feature=youtu.be For more nursing rant stories, click here.
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families

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ATLANTA, GA - In a move that is sure to spark controversy and protest, the CDC released Proposition 23.4 yesterday which grants state governments the right to quarantine unvaccinated families.  According to the proposal, state...

Definition of ‘Idiopathic’ Leaked, Millions of Patients Outraged

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UNKNOWN, USA - Waiting rooms have seen record numbers of infuriated patients this week, after one patient stumbled across "idiopathic" in the dictionary.  The patient, who has quickly become known as Dictionary Guy, led to...

Yawning: America’s New Epidemic

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YAHNSBERG, YAWNSIN - The first case of yawning was reported in 622 BC by Cepheyawneas.  Historians may continue to debate if this case was Patient Zero, but they do agree there is more yawning today than ever before. ...