Life, Liberty, and Opioid Pain Medicine: Lost Version of Declaration of Independence Unearthed
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - Archaeologist and historian Dusty Bookman announced on Thursday that he unearthed a lost draft of the Declaration of Independence among Thomas Jefferson’s documents.
The lost version’s famous Preamble proclaims “Life, Liberty, and opioid...
Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain
CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the impact in many ways - in their finances, their reputations,...
Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use
COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever. The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that boasts multiple uses in retrieving various objects from assorted body...
First Year Resident Upset with how Attending Manages DKA
PHILADELPHIA- In just her second week of Internal Medicine Residency at the University Hospital, Dr. Jamie Jones was upset yesterday with the way her attending, Dr. David White, was managing Diabetic Ketoacidosis.
“It’s just not...
Maintenance of Certification Programs to Require Repeating Residency
WASHINGTON, D.C. - If there ever was a solid example of mission creep, Maintenance of Certification (MOC) programs for physicians have set a new standard. Overnight, all 24 medical specialties of the American Board of Medical...
Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of care discussion he ran earlier today went absolutely *f**king fabulous."
"If...
Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults
We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult. But sometimes you get that feeling. You know the one. The one that says, “I should really suck more at calling consults.” ...
New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open
CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel, "King Hilton" that will serve as a 10,000 room hospital...
Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient
CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are leading the charge against the novel coronavirus by turning to...
Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths
LOS ANGELES, CA - In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) medical student Mac Little summoned his ACLS knowledge...
