Internal Medicine

LOS ANGELES, CA - "How can it be??!!" wondered orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley, scratching his noggin with his oversized mitts.  "Thor don't understand!"  You see, Hammersley has just spotted a true anomaly walking the...

BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy, the paper’s sole author, stated after reviewing the data that...

CRYSTAL LAKE - Nurses, doctors, and other health care practitioners across the nation have announced their overwhelming support for the newly-redesigned surgical masks or Jason masks.  It is named after the brilliant trauma surgeon who...

RAPID CITY, SD - On my first day of medical school, the dean proclaimed that “everything we teach you over the next 4 years will be obsolete in 10,” or something like that—I wasn’t...

DENVER, CO - It’s been a very rough twelve months to say the least for Chipotle, which has seen its reputation severely damaged after hundreds of customers were affected by outbreaks of E. coli...

Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the Dallas Cowboys: biggest fanciest toys inside the OR and out....

DALLAS, TX - Local resident Sam Worthington is claiming to have contracted Ebola from his yearly flu shot.  The irony is found in contracting a rare deadly disease, Ebola, while being vaccinated against the deadliest viruses...

NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a 1 Liter bag of Isosource 1.5, poured himself a glass,...

HOUSTON, TX - Rhonda Jones, a 43-year-old woman reportedly insists that her diabetes is just a bad allergic reaction to a steady diet of McDonalds, Burger King, and Taco Bell, and not a systemic, potentially...

SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing its recipe but by offering free insulin rolls instead.  Cinnabon...