Thursday, March 28, 2024

Internal Medicine

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A local pharmaceutical company has started distributing advent calendars filled with...
yelp hospital review

Yelp Awards Noncompliant Patient for ‘Checking In’ to Same Hospital Room 198 Times in...

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FRESNO, CA - Divulging too many details about your personal life or whereabouts are often frowned upon by many but it turned out to be a path to glory for 46-year-old Victor Reyes who won the...

This Day in Medical History: ECG of the Day Toilet Paper Invented

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THIS DAY IN MEDICAL HISTORY, 1985 - Have you always wondered how ECG of the Day Toilet Paper came to be in the first place?  And who was smart enough to invent it? Back on...
march madness

Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness

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HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness.  He presented to the ER at NRG Medical Center last night with altered mental...
graham crackers 1981 Nabisco vintage

Hospital Replaces Graham Crackers with Cardboard, Nobody Notices

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SAVANNAH, GA - In a new initiative to cut costs, Coastal Hospital CEO Will Slash revealed he swapped out baked cardboard for graham crackers nearly a year ago, and has so far not heard...
award student loans

Physician Wins Award for Paying Off Student Loans

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WASHINGTON, DC - Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price was pleased to announce this week that 58-year-old internist Dale Mitchell has been awarded the 2017 FAFSA Memorial Perseverance Award for successfully paying off...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only (More Bicarb!!) algorithm for cardiopulmonary arrest (see Figure 6 below)....
yiddish medical

Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have been approved as acceptable medical terminology.  This practice, already commonplace...
barrage pages

Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting at 5:30 PM and expect it to last until 7...
When I was an intern

Old as F**k Attending Tells Team Story Called “When I Was an Intern…”

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LOS ANGELES, CA - In a story to make our current generation of residents and interns roll their eyes so hard they'll require ophthalmology to reverse the damage, Gomerblog has learned that old-as-f**k internal medicine...