Internal Medicine

ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

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KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate....
staph staff

Chuck Norris Vs. Super Bacteria: Norris Wins

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DALLAS, TX – A new super bacteria has emerged in the world and it is feared to be one of most dangerous bugs to...

German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums

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Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...
hospital administrators

Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey

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CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
sick patient

Emergency Medicine Attending Fails to Admit Old Man, Resigns

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BLOOMINGTON, IN - Emergency medicine attending, Dr. Howard Rugers, announced his retirement yesterday after failing to find reason for admission for 95-year-old Herschel Levenstein,...
board certification

ABIM Sponsors New Game Show: Who Wants to be Certified a Million Years?

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PHILADELPHIA, PA—Unable to develop a recertification exam that is satisfactory to all, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) now seems to be trying...
Ensure Keg

In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form

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LAKE BLUFF, IL - You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available...
icu pumps

American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis

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The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain.  A...

Physical Exam Tips: The Lungs

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Examining one lung is hard enough, but two of them??!!  TWO??!!  UGHHHHH!!  This is so much work!  If you only have the stamina to...
hospitalist place

Hospitalist Explains: Hip Fracture

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Orthopedics can be complicated. Thankfully, Dr. Hal Dole, after passing his IM boards also completed a Fellowship in: Optimization, Restoration, Transition and Hyperalimentation of...