SpaceX Announces Self-Retrieving Video Capsule Endoscopy
Elon Musk’s rocket company SpaceX announced Tuesday that it will be entering the medical device market with the roll out of the Falciform 9, a self-retrieving video capsule endoscopy.
The Falciform 9 is the brain...
Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years
Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation for 6 years now.
It all started when he was seen...
Hospital to Open Day Spa in Dialysis and Infusion Unit to Increase Income
In a bold move announced today, Mt. Saint Elsewhere hospital stated that the dialysis and infusion unit will be offering supplemental packages. “Anything you could get a regular spa you will now be able...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time....
Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs
BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune cookie maker Wonton Food Inc. have decided to replace their...
Charting Complication: Hospitalist Develops Stage 4 Sacral Decub
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalist Sofia Candelaria was simply being a good hospitalist by spending 90% of her day documenting things that needed to be documented. Unfortunately her attempt to pound out 10 discharge summaries...
New Study Describes “Y.M.C.A. Reflex”
BOSTON, MA—It has been observed for decades and is so commonplace as to almost be an afterthought. And yet, after a thorough review of the medical literature, Dr. Dick Clark of Doctors University Hospital realized...
HHS Announces New Crack Down on Illicit Cardiac Massage Parlors
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Officials from the Department of Health and Human Services Monday announced a joint operation with Departments of Homeland Security and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to crack down on illicit cardiac...
Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’
SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact, it had not been prescribed at all. Upon following up...
Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack
Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following Epic’s unexpected hack of all social media platforms.
When asked for...