Dr. Oz’s Show Set to Return After Study Says His Advice Will Only Kill...
NEW YORK, NY—Dr. Oz’s self-titled talk show, which sadly has been on hiatus due to the coronavirus pandemic, is set to resume tapings immediately...
Coronavirus Tests Positive for Joe Exotic
CHICKASHA, OK—Joe Exotic cannot be stopped. The self-proclaimed “Tiger King,” country musician, master illusionist, former Presidential and gubernatorial candidate, and gun-toting redneck simply cannot...
Mystery of Appendix Solved: A Private Space for Horny Bacteria to “Get It On”
INSIDE YOUR APPENDIX—Admit it, when you place your stethoscope (that is, if you even own one) on a patient’s abdomen, you don’t really keep...
Covid-19: Newly Released “Contagion 2” Gives People Much-Needed Escape from Reality
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Understanding that Americans desperately need an escape from the non-stop, grim Covid-19 news, Steven Soderbergh, who directed the very popular 2011 original, announced...
Ortho ORIF’s a Calcified Aorta
Toronto, ON - In a world first, Dr. Chipper has carried out what we’re cautiously calling a successful open reduction and internal fixation (ORIF)...
German Scientists develops safe, effective tool to remove gerbils from rectums
Oslo, Norway - An advancement that has been heralded as a boon for animal rights and paraphilia aficionados everywhere was recently unveiled at the...
BREAKING: Kim Jong-un Not Quite as Dead as His Surgeon Will Soon Be
Pyongyang, North Korea - Reports have been coming out that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un's health is in grave danger after a cardiac...
Orthopods Now Offering Virtual Bro-fit Classes
Chicago, IL - Orthopaedists always figured their specialty was science-proof. "One day we will have a cure for heart disease, and the cure for...
Nervous American Doctors Refusing to See Patients Who’ve Been to America Recently
NEW YORK, NY—At the height of the Ebola epidemic in 2014, medical offices in America constantly asked patients if they’d recently traveled to Africa,...
Medical Knowledge Expanding So Fast That Everything You Knew When You Started Reading This...
RAPID CITY, SD - On my first day of medical school, the dean proclaimed that “everything we teach you over the next 4 years...