Wow, Hospitalist Appreciating the Hell Outta Everyone in Today’s Progress Note
DURHAM, NC - In a particularly thankful mood today, hospitalist Poonam Trivedi has really gone all out, appreciating the hell out of everyone today in her progress note.
"I really appreciate GI's recs today," Trivedi wrote under the patient's first...
Attending to Attending Conversation Upgraded To Category 5
CHARLESTON, SC - The impending attending to attending conversation scheduled to hit the 6th floor this evening was recently upgraded to Category 5, bringing with it heavy opinions up to 20 inches and high winds....
Contrary to Consultant’s Advice, Doctor is Now Hesitant to Call Back with Any Questions
AUSTIN, TX - After admitting a patient with end-stage congestive heart failure, third-year internal medicine resident Amanda Cummings consulted the cardiology service to help with management. Cardiology was happy to see the patient, and...
VA Hospitals to Close their Doors in Honor of Veterans Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. - During a holiday season filled with PSLs, sweets and gifts, November has always been a month of giving thanks marked by Veterans Day and Thanksgiving. Unlike Memorial Day, which pays tribute...
Breaking: Iron Man Diagnosed with Hemochromatosis
NEW YORK, NY - After his primary care physician insist he undergo several tests over the past month to uncover the cause of his abnormal liver function tests (LFTs), Iron Man has unfortunately been...
Ugh, Not Again: GI Lab Full of A**holes Today
ROCKFORD, IL - One local gastroenterology group is at wit's end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any other. Why? Because their GI lab, once again, is full...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is to be replaced with a simplified "yes" text message.
Robert Kole,...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone at the nurses station, immediately regretting his decision. "The caller...
Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized by a temporary mental lapse, and now formally recommend Gas-X...
Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.
SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it has now been confirmed that Netflix will renew the hit...