Wednesday, January 20, 2021

MS3 Responsible for Additional 50cc Blood Loss During Surgery for Doing ‘The Dab’ Instead...

AKRON, OH - After working in academics for over 20 years in Gynecology, Dr. Marshall thought she had seen it all. But a whole new level of stupid walked into the room on May...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student’s Enthusiasm a Little Too Infectious, Placed in Isolation

LOS ANGELES, CA - Third-year UCLA medical student Christopher Witt has been placed into airborne, droplet, and contact isolation after both the third-year resident and attending on his internal medicine team found...
medical student

ABCDE’s of Trauma: MS3 Edition

In the fourth year of medical school and we are required to complete an “intern prep course” that involves a lot of simulation cases. It was in our trauma simulation that I learned that...
C-collar cervical collar neck brace

Med Student Struggling to Fit C-Collar onto Woman’s Cervix

BALTIMORE, MD - A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman's cervix into a C-collar this morning. "You plan to do what...
gunner med student

Gunner Med Student Sends Interns Home, Says He’s Got This

BOSTON, MA - Clearly shooting for the highest grade possible on his internal medicine rotation, self-proclaimed third-year gunner med student Grayson McGravy told the two medicine interns on his team to go home this morning because "I got...
standardized patient

Next Level Thinking: Med Student Admits Standardized Patient

PORTLAND, OR - A medical student at Oregon Health & Science University School of Medicine not only conquered her standardized patient encounter but took it to the next level when she admitted...
medical student

Medical Student Reports He’s ‘Just Not That Interested’ In Clinical Rotation; Attending Physicians Quit

A shocking series of events has left Salem Teaching Hospital in complete disarray. The issues began when third-year medical student Daniel Greene bluntly stated that he was “just not that interested” in his required...
bone marrow

A for Effort: Med Student Palpates Patient’s Bone Marrow

NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to both better improve her physical exam skills and understand the etiology of pancytopenia, third-year Vanderbilt medical student Marianne Cash spent the better part of this morning palpating...
eyeball retina

Medical Student Accidentally Identifies Retina on Fundoscopic Exam

BOSTON, MA – Third-year medical student Iris Conners did the one thing that every medical trainee, and frankly every human in any field of medicine, aspires to achieve in their career: she saw the...

Medical Student Disappears in Search of Mysterious Codman Triangle

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Arun Matthews, a 3rd year medical student has been reported missing from his third floor library cubicle since the early hours of yesterday. According to his peers, he was last seen...