Thursday, June 4, 2020
medical student

Medical Student Forgoes Last Year, Jumps to Residency Draft Early

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In an unprecedented move, John Cummings held a press conference in the student lounge to announce his decision to forgo the last year of medical school and put his name into the residency draft. "First...

Fortune Cookies Replace Lotto Numbers with Vital Signs

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune cookie maker Wonton Food Inc. have decided to replace their...
first aid for usmle step 1

USMLE Board Study Tips by Wet, Wacky and Wobbly

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Studying for and taking the USMLE can be stressful. Here are 10 tips to help you prepare for the real deal: 1. Train your bladder by drinking a gallon of water and trying to complete...
smug medical student gunner med student

Applicant Deemed Overqualified for Medical School

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - An especially qualified applicant to medical school was distraught at finding 25 identical rejection emails in his inbox on March 15. It seems the reason is an unusual one: he is...
graham crackers 1981 Nabisco vintage

Hangry Intern Opens Up Vintage Packet of Graham Crackers from 1981

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Figuring that there was no better time to celebrate than during this particular overnight call, University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) surgical intern Jose Rioja has decided to open up a...
usmle exam

10 Practical USMLE Board Study Tips

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Studying for and taking the USMLE can be stressful. Here are 10 tips to help you prepare for the real deal: 1. Train your bladder by drinking a gallon of water and trying to complete...
productive cough

Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today

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HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it is being incredibly productive today. "Man, you're not going to believe...
medical student nodding

Zuckerberg Survives 10 Hours of Questions from First-Year Medical Student

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg survived 10 hours of questions, this time at the hands of first-year Georgetown medical student Savannah Hilton as she struggled to piece together a complete medical history...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets

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MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire.  Unsure, Smiley replied, "I don't know, I've never heard of...

Respiratory Therapist with 11 Years Experience Doesn’t Know More Than Medical Student

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Local Respiratory Therapist Val Silver has seen it all in her nearly a dozen years working at UNC Hospital.  If you don’t believe her, just ask her. That was until this past week...
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